thdv12232

A Big Dick Rastafarian Making My Coconuts Clap

On Today's Show:
00:00:00
Introduction
02:41:15
Unocvering New Material From Viral Favorites / The Unsavory Chef
07:01:05
The Return Of John Dakers / Woody Woodpecker
11:56:05
The Eat Da Poo Poo Guys Is Back As Well!
18:01:07
An Artists Creates A Stain Glass Wall Of Urine
22:30:24
Christian RegGAY Music
27:57:03
Sign Up For The Sideshow!
29:45:05
Mobility Scooter Melee
33:55:16
Facebook Celebrity AI Voices Will Have Sex With You
40:19:17
Disemboweling Your Extraterrestrial Father
42:58:13
Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending

Is It Time To Start Panic Buy Dildos?

On Today’s Show:
It’s a jam-packed Friday freakout featuring haunted abortions, ghost grandkids, pervy American men in Ukraine, and the eternal struggle of pre-ordering a Nintendo Switch 2 without losing your mind—or your place in the checkout queue.
🎮 Switch 2 Rage – Tim details his traumatizing experience trying to preorder Nintendo’s latest console. If you’ve ever sweat through a shirt just trying to give a company your money, you’ll relate.
👻 Alexis K. Tyler Sees Dead Grandbabies – A fetus ghost starts dancing in her room, and somehow this isn’t even the weirdest part of the stream featuring her son, De Niro Red.
💔 Don’t Dictate My Dick – De Niro Red delivers hard truths about toxic relationships, ghost babies, and bitches be trippin’.
🧒 Toddlers & Ashes – A one-year-old boy snacks on Grandpa’s remains. Because why not?
💩 Eco-Retreat Gone to Shit – An environmentally-conscious couple flees Sweden, leaving behind unpaid taxes, 158 barrels of human waste, and dead ducks.
🇺🇦 Creepy Love Tourism – American men fly to Ukraine looking for love (and youth). Tim highlights a standout contender for “Most Likely to End Up on a Watch List.”
🍆 Tariff Panic – With Chinese sex toy imports threatened by massive tariffs, it might be time to hoard those dildos. Tim breaks it all down—and offers a discount code, of course.
🎶 Virginity Parody Anthems – “Willing to Wait,” a horrifying abstinence anthem set to “Old Town Road.” Plus, Tim resurrects his own filthy banger, “Cherabra Venti.”
Listener Voicemails:
🧱 LEGO pieces in the nose, memories of childhood stupidity, and almost dying from a throat lozenge.
🏍️ Lorenzo Lamas BBQ sightings in Ohio—yep, really.
🧑‍💻 A heartfelt plea: help Tim get Distorted View back on Wikipedia!
Join the Freak Army! Get Sideshow exclusive episodes, bonus segments, and other weird goodies.📲 Sign up at distortedview.com or via Spotify & Apple Podcasts.💸 Support DV on Patreon for as little as $1!
Featured Phrases of the Day:
“Don’t dictate my dick.”
“Ghost fetus dancing like a toddler.”
“Soup is the quickest way into my pants.”
“Fuck my tits, fuck my mouth, when I gag just point it south.”
Promo Code Reminder:🌶️ Get 50% off at AdamAndEve.com with code FREAK – before tariffs make pleasure unaffordable.

Songs For The Microwaved Dog

On Today’s Show:
🚨 Arkansas Incest Investigation:A man catches his wife sleeping with her son, and it only gets worse from there. (Yes, it’s one of those episodes.) Police casually investigate while trying not to say the word “incest.” 🤐
👿 Jesse Lee Peterson vs. Your Brain:Thoughts = Lies. All of them. Even "I'm hungry" is Satan trying to get you to Arby’s. The only way to fix a car, according to Jesse? Don’t think about it. 🧠❌
🧴 Christian TikToker Watches ‘Sinners’:She went in expecting VeggieTales, came out feeling spiritually molested by Cornbread the Vampire. 🧄🦇
🐮 The Cow & the Cafeteria Creep:Child porn AND cow porn? Two brothers in upstate New York are vying for the title of most revolting sex offender. Spoiler: everyone loses. 👨‍👦🐄📹
🪙 Butt-Plug Mining & Flaccid Cream:Tim pitches some questionable adult products to Adam & Eve—including dildo gloves and a penis-softening lotion. They're not currently available, but there's still a promo code: FREAK 🛍️💋
🪑 Stop the Violence… with Chair Shots:A Texas anti-violence boxing event turns into WWE Smackdown. Wigs flew. Pepper spray was deployed. Jesus wept. 🤼‍♀️👩🏾‍🦱💨
🧼 Possibly in Michigan:The most disturbing microwave-related musical art film ever created. A dead poodle. Perfume. And trauma. Watch it on YouTube if you hate your brain. 🐩🎵💀
💦 Urine Rage in Florida:Denied a job interview, a registered sex offender unleashes piss missiles at a molding store. Doors, Molding & More now just smells like regret and ammonia. 🚪🟡🛹
🧼 Voicemails from the Freak Army:
🇷🇺 A mysterious new Russian fan has emerged and already started a foot-soaking podcast (in chowder).
💩 Jonathan reports on a co-worker weaponizing tampons. HR: Activated.
🍒 Dank Tim's anus is cherry red. Nothing more needs to be said.
00:00:00
AdamEve.Com - Promo Code FREAK for 50% Off / Free Shipping
03:48:21
Every Thought In Your Head Is Put There By Satan
09:53:23
An Arkansas Incest Police Call
16:54:03
Violence Erupts At A "Stop The Violence" Event
19:07:02
Christian TikTok Did Not Like The Movie Sinners
22:52:23
Songs Of The Microwaved Dog
26:07:21
Sign Up For The Sideshow!
27:42:06
A Treasure Trove Of Pervy Riches
32:47:24
Kanye West May Have Blown More Dudes
36:26:04
Job Applicant Hurls Urine
39:53:19
Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending

Frying Your Eyeballs To See Extra Colors

On Today's Show:
🌈 Introducing Olo: The Unseeable New Color Between Blue and GreenScientists have allegedly discovered a new color between blue and green, called Olo. But there’s a catch—you’ll need to get lasers blasted into your eyeballs to see it. Tim compares this breakthrough to his own discovery of the number “Leavenge.” Advantage: Tim. 💥🧠
📱 Citizen App Is Holding Pedos Hostage (for $6 a month)Tim’s local FBI raid has him hooked on the Citizen crime app, where every pedo alert and police radio call is paywalled behind “Citizen Plus.” Wanna know if Chester the Molester lives next door? Gotta pony up, freak. 🚨🧑‍⚖️💳
🕊 Meade Skelton’s Easter Livestream or Hitler Birthday Bash?Meade goes live for Jesus but spends way more time singing birthday tunes to Adolf. A snot-filled celebration of racism, confusion, and phlegm. 🤢🎤🧻
🧼 Ramen Rage: Server Follows Customer Over 11-Cent TipAn employee from Table to Sticks Ramen in Illinois follows a customer down the street, screaming about a pathetic tip. Yelp reviews explode. The ramen tastes like Cup Noodles and regret. 🍜💵💢
🌴 YouTuber Invades Death Island With Coconuts and Diet CokeA U.S. YouTuber illegally visits North Sentinel Island—the place where outsiders get speared—and offers a coconut and Diet Coke as tribute. He somehow survives. Indiana Jones-level dumbassery. 🗺🥥🚫
🎤 Haley Joel Osment Drops Slurs During Coke-Fueled Ski Lodge ArrestThe Sixth Sense star sees dead careers after calling a cop a Nazi and a kike (pick a lane, bro). Later claims he was blacked out. Cocaine, chaos, and childhood trauma collide. 🎿❄️💉
🎵 TikTok China Is Coming for Our EnginesAuto Parts Store Tina wants to ship you a Range Rover engine straight from China. Her English may be broken, but her hustle is tight. “Very company, good quality.” 🚗🛠️🇨🇳
🎶 Mysterious Woman Sings in GibberishTim shares a bizarre song that sounds like it was lifted from a haunted elven dungeon. It’s either avant-garde art or a spell to summon ancient pharaohs. 👻🎧🗿
📞 Voicemail Time!Freaks chime in about home buying nightmares, relationship farts, and Katy Perry’s misguided space voyage. 💨🪐🗣️
00:00:00
Introduction
01:38:10
The App Where Finding Perverts Is An InApp Purchase
04:32:06
A New Color Has Been Discovered
08:34:19
Meade's Springtime For Hitler Livestream Spectacular!
11:09:19
Drug Addict Gets Stuck
13:23:07
Restaurant Owner Chases Down Man Who Didn't Leave Tip
19:40:23
Chinese Auto Engine Warehouse Music
22:17:06
More Incomprehensible English Music
24:05:22
Sign Up For The Sideshow!
25:29:20
Leaving Soda For A Tribe Of Antisocial Killers
32:14:14
I See N*** K***S
37:13:12
A Female Mexican Immigrant For Every Incel
40:52:00
Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending

Yolk Hunt - Easter Day Fun For The Whole Family

This Easter🎉 Yolk Hunt Madness! What starts as a mundane Easter weekend turns into a twisted celebration at Caldessavilles 13th Annual Yolk Hunt, America’s largest (and most disturbingly innuendo-filled) Easter egg hunt.
💥 Highlights include:
"Muff diving" in the ball pit to find elusive Muffy the Bunny 🐰
A raunchy food fair serving up things like pink tacos, salty bacon holes, and fishy clam strips 🍑🐟
The event takes place in Furburg Meadows off Route 63, where things get packed fast 😏
First 100 freaks get a "Yolk Hunt is My Passion" T-shirt 👕
Come early, stay late—Yolk Hunt has been stretched out for max weekend debauchery.

We're Off To The Sperm Races!

On Today's Show:
✈️ Plus-sized influencer demands wheelchair access or war at SeaTac.
💉 High schoolers remix Daft Punk to promote AIDS awareness… with alarming enthusiasm.
🧠 Jesse Lee Peterson discovers women went to space… and panics.
🏁 Sperm racing is now a real competitive event. And yes, you can gamble on it.
⚡ Cop pulls woman over for expired tags, escalates into a “you scared me!” taser-fest.
🍟 Fast food rage: the voicemails are full of drive-thru fury.
🎶 And we kick things off with the world’s most horrifying DV theme remix: “Dead Babies Bounce.”
🎧 Highlights & Clips:
🧬 “We’re up all night to get AIDS!”– Tim discovers an ancient high school science video with Daft Punk, abstinence, and full-blown cringe.
🪐 “What are women doing in space—menstruating?”– Jesse Lee Peterson fears a future where periods orbit Earth. Tim breaks down this idiocy, blow by blow.
🧑‍🦼 “I was told I was a danger… simply by existing!”– The return of Jaelynn Chaney, the plus-sized activist who demands wheelchair access at all times. Keg Pony tribute included 🐷💺
🥚 Sperm Racing: The Sport America Needs– USC vs UCLA. Under microscopes. Real sperm. Real wagers. Peak civilization.
🚓 License & Taser– Tim plays the full breakdown of a routine traffic stop turned full-blown scuffle after one too many “Hold on, I’m on the phone!”s.
📢 Voicemail Freakout Zone:
📱 Haley’s Comet drops 50lbs 💪📞 Fast food fail tales: Wendy’s, Taco Bell, Jack in the Box. Your stomach may growl in rage.
🥤 Tim rants about drive-thru tacos dumped upside down. It’s NOT OKAY. 🌮🔥
💩 Miscellaneous Debauchery:
Lord Douche ruins Taco Bell with 9,000 substitutions.
Tim contemplates becoming a woman to complete his Social Commentary Pokémon card set: ✔ Gay ✔ Fat ☐ Black ✔ Misogynistic?
🔒 Sideshow Plug Time!Support the stupidity 💵 Get bonus episodes, full archives, and smug freak status by joining the DV Sideshow: 🌐 DistortedView.com📱 Subscribe via Spotify or Apple Podcasts💸 Or join us on Patreon: patreon.com/distortedview
📅 Next Sperm Race is April 25th at the Hollywood Palladium!Place your bets: Team Dribbler vs. Rope Shooter

Invest Your Money In Bleached Asshole Futures

On Today's Show:
🎤 DV proudly presents: A Deaf Guy Singing Iron Maiden!You may not understand the lyrics, but the passion is unmistakable.
🎮 Livestreamer Showdowns!Angry dads vs. bratty sons.Moms threatening eviction, dads accusing their kids of being whores or Satanists.One father delivers a devastating line: “Not my fault you can’t come up with any content, so you just bury yourself.”Savage, dad. Savage.
💁‍♀️ Titty Streamer Trauma:When your cleavage gets more views than your gameplay, but your dad’s just not having it. “I don’t want to see my daughter’s side vag on Twitch!”
👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 Gay Hispanic Uber Riders vs. Chill Black Driver:“I just wanted to hear music!”Cops were called. Racism was alleged. Trump was name-dropped.All because NPR was playing instead of Pitbull. 🙄
🧼 Asshole Bleaching vs. Hitler Comparison (Florida Politics Edition):One city commissioner accused of monetizing her bleached b-hole fires back by comparing the mayor to Hitler.Shouting match ensues. Jews get involved. Meetings adjourned.(Also, can you really profit off a bleached anus? Asking for a friend.)
🪓 Meth, Ghosts, and Ax Attacks (Louisiana):A man claims he was axed in the head.No wounds, but plenty of meth.His defense? “The intruders—or ghosts—planted it.” 👻💨
📸 Online Romance Scam – With Nudes!A 54-year-old man sends $8K to an “Instagram model” with land, gold, and dreams in Africa.Plot twist: He’s married.Wife found out. Now he’s out of money and love.
Voicemail Highlights:
Freak deals with a gold-digging ex-girlfriend who tried to stick him with all the bills.
Another caller explains why cats are great (clean assholes!) and chats bestiality on Discord.🐱💬🐐

M4M Looking For A Floppy Nonstick Colon

On Today's Show:
00:00:00
AdamEve.Com! Prom Code: FREAK - 50% OFF!
02:09:02
Introduction
04:57:10
The Various Sounds Of Power Fisting
07:36:22
Fisting Enthusiast Interview Doctor About His Beaten Up Butthole
14:22:18
Pre-Fist Douche Do's And Dont's
17:05:18
Ladling Out The Law! - Grocery Story Arrest
28:49:06
Sign Up For The Sideshow!
30:28:00
Pooping In The Beer Cave!
33:47:05
The Lazy Way To Call In A Bomb Threat
37:20:20
Unsportsman-Like Urination
40:04:15
Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending