thdv12232

🎧 Episode Summary
Friday’s show celebrates birthday-week filth with Tonetta tributes, Pastor Manning’s truly graphic anti-gay sermon work, a plane passenger who got booted for preaching while an actual leather gimp got treated like helpful cabin staff, and Miss Princess AZ returning with enough drunken sex audio to make the Discord blush.
🎶 Opening Chaos
Tonetta returns with Tim’s beloved birthday song, a deranged little masterpiece made even funnier by the idea that its creator may have believed he was recording it for some kind of cancer-stricken child fan.
The episode spirals into a glorious side quest about whether Kidz Bop could survive covers of Tonetta classics like Really Big Cock, Yummy Yummy Pizza, and the deeply unholy Cucka-Cock.
Tim also briefly notes that, given the show’s long history of porn, filth, and general pervert energy, it’s honestly a little surprising no one has mounted a full-blown “pedophile” panic campaign yet.
🔥 Episode Highlights
Pastor O. Manning delivers one of his more vividly disgusting sermons yet, describing gay sex as packing another man’s lower intestine with dung and somehow making church sound filthier than the porn segments.
A woman preaching on an airplane gets removed from her flight after turning the cabin into her own little persecution pageant, then immediately decides this is proof demons fear the name of Jesus.
Miss Princess AZ checks back in with a brand-new archive of drunken sexual field recordings, this time featuring aggressive dick-sucking, fart talk, gagging, barking orders, and enough chaos to qualify as public service audio.
🧟 Ongoing Freaks And Updates
Miss Princess AZ has quickly become one of the great surprise stars of the show, evolving from foot-fetish phone calls into full-blown sex-audio correspondent for the sickos.
Her latest uploads include one man discussing what kind of farts he likes, another round of slurping and dirty talk, and at least one segment that sounds less like sex and more like someone wrestling a haunted loveseat.
The Discord once again becomes the natural habitat for all of this material, because there really is no respectable place for it to live.
🗞️ Distorted News
A man in a full black leather gimp suit headed to a bachelor party somehow became the most helpful person on an EasyJet flight, cheerfully collecting trash from passengers while cabin crew and travelers treated him like the world’s filthiest flight attendant.
A naked man was arrested after allegedly crawling through the walls and ceiling of a Fresno plasma donation center, flooding the place, lobbing debris at police, and turning a routine donation site into a deeply unsettling skin-crawler.
A Canadian nationalist group lost one of its directors after old clips resurfaced showing the man’s past life in gay radio under the wonderfully unfortunate name Mr. G-String.
📞 Listener Interaction And Voicemails
A listener calls in to confirm that Big Boy train autism is still alive and well, because yes, there are absolutely people timing vacations around giant locomotives.
Bleach Daffo checks in with a pet peeve about influencers who assume their audience knows every detail of their personality, giving Tim the chance to admit that, yes, that kind of smug oversharing is irritating.
Another caller somehow gets through the half-dead merch system and successfully orders a stack of shirts, leading Tim to discover that the supposedly closed store still has enough life in it to process rogue birthday commerce.
Spiral Ham contributes one of the more meandering voicemails of the week, while Dogmeat offers a callback about the voice of a cop from an earlier story, because Friday voicemail cleanup is always a little feral.
💰 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.

🎧 Episode Summary
Wednesday’s show serves up a beautiful buffet of fried-condom panic, erotic stump appreciation, J.K. Rowling’s toilet-spy fantasy, hood justice with fake gasoline, and a police officer who looked less “medical episode” and more “absolutely not fit for duty.”
🎶 Opening Chaos
Tim’s AI transcript project finally coughs up some deranged stats, including 44.6 million words, 4,800 hours of audio, and the sobering reality that almost none of it has done a single useful thing for humanity.
The episode opens with a loving musical tribute to the allegedly apocalyptic breath of a Korean girl, because apparently no Wednesday is complete without some racially questionable halitosis theater.
Tim briefly contemplates immortality through voice-cloning, which is both technologically plausible and spiritually horrifying for anyone who thought death might eventually bring peace.
🔥 Episode Highlights
A family storms into Popeyes claiming a piece of fried chicken contained a cooked condom, complete with camera crews, street-corner sermon energy, and enough suspiciously polished one-liners to make the whole thing smell like a scam.
Polio Amp, the one-legged porn grandpa nobody asked for but somehow keeps showing up, returns with more stump-centered erotica, including whispered fantasies about kissing, licking, and ejaculating all over his prized polio nub.
A disastrous first date goes nuclear when a woman tries to make her dinner companion pay for extra takeout meals for her kids, then films the argument when he refuses to subsidize the whole family.
🧟 Ongoing Freaks And Updates
Polio Amp is still out here building an entire niche brand around being an amputee exhibitionist, proving once again that absolutely anything can become porn if you’re shameless enough.
Grandpa’s greatest hits include a clip where he gets fucked, moans about the size of the cock, and eventually pushes out a deeply upsetting tan-colored cum fart that should have remained a private medical matter.
His stump fetish monologue somehow gets more intimate than the sex itself, with detailed instructions for would-be admirers who dream of rubbing lotion on his leg nub and watching semen drip slowly down it like a romantic candle.
🗞️ Distorted News
A Lynn, Massachusetts police officer is on leave after viral video appeared to show him barely able to stand or speak while on a call, leaving the public to choose between “medical emergency” and “high as absolute hell.”
J.K. Rowling is catching fresh backlash after suggesting people should photograph suspected trans women in public restrooms, which is an incredible way to turn basic bathroom use into a creep-shot surveillance hobby.
eBay has agreed to pay nearly $50 million to settle the case involving former employees who harassed a Massachusetts couple with cockroaches, spiders, porn mail, surveillance, a funeral wreath, and a bloody pig mask because apparently corporate criticism hurt their feelings.
📞 Listener Interaction And Voicemails
A Verizon worker calls in with a classic retail nightmare, describing a customer who believed her ex-husband had hacked her phone through mafia-Epstein-government connections and needed a full paranoid breakdown in the middle of the store.
Bill phones in with a fireworks safety lecture after nearly blowing off his own face with commercial pyrotechnics, proving that the only people more dangerous than fireworks are the men explaining fireworks.
Robert, a drum teacher, offers a grim little public service announcement that kids keep walking into lessons and banging out the Pornhub theme, which means yes, the youth are absolutely being raised by the internet.
💰 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.

🎧 Episode Summary
Monday’s show kicks off birthday-week narcissism in style, then slides into intersex conspiracy sludge, satellite-tooth sabotage, horny foot-sniff field recordings, and a pair of news stories featuring a murdered influencer and a two-year-old who absolutely should not have been anywhere near cocaine.
🔥 Episode Highlights
Birthday Week Tim declares himself untouchable, mead-free, and more impatient than usual, with a special cameo from the Prescription Lady singing him into a fresh year of bad judgment.
Ashley Webb, Senate hopeful and self-described intersex enigma, offers a medical-history fever dream involving missing birth records, mystery mucus, and menstrual-cycle claims that somehow get less convincing the longer she talks.
Tony Chase returns to explain that his coveted hermaphrodite genetics, extra teeth, and birthing potential are being targeted by the government and weaponized through satellite attacks on his mouth.
Miss Princess Ass delivers more undercover foot-fetish gold, including a guy who wants to sniff, lick, fuck, and apparently emotionally invest in just about any foot shoved in his direction.
🎶 Opening Chaos
The episode opens with a disgusting little audio bouquet of vaginal secretions, fibroid juice, and squidge on face, just in case anyone accidentally started their Monday with dignity.
Nick Fuentes reviews Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey by admitting he liked it while also wishing both the movie and reality itself were whiter, because of course he did.
The Prescription Lady takes over birthday duties with a deranged serenade, prescription chanting, and enough boozy affection to make Richard Simmons finally seem normal.
🧟 Ongoing Freaks And Updates
Ashley Webb becomes Tim’s newest obsession after an interview where she claims doctors labeled her trans, the intersex community rejected her, and some mysterious lower-body mucus still can’t be explained by anyone involved.
Tony Chase, still very much not gay, insists the satellite man is attacking his teeth because the government desperately wants his superior hermaphrodite genetics, complete with penis, vagina, ovaries, uterus, and apparently every other collectible organ.
The show doubles down on Ashley’s campaign viability by asking the real question: how exactly do you run for the U.S. Senate while publicly sounding like you’re one cold medicine dose away from talking to wallpaper?
🗞️ Distorted News
An Oklahoma influencer who publicly called her estranged husband a pedophile on TikTok was later killed in what investigators believe was a murder-suicide, giving the whole ugly story the exact kind of true-crime stink Netflix can’t resist.
A New Jersey toddler overdosed on cocaine during a Jersey Shore vacation, because one adult in charge allegedly left the rental stocked like a terrible bachelor weekend instead of a place with a two-year-old inside.
Tom Holland reportedly became the first celebrity to puke during Hot Ones, proving that even Spider-Man can be taken down by spicy chicken and weak little British innards.
📞 Listener Interaction And Voicemails
Area code 502 offers a birthday gift and gets the full DV P.O. Box treatment, while Tim openly reminds everyone that cash is still the classiest love language.
Miss Princess Ass continues her heroic documentation of a foot freak who wants stinky feet, toe-fucking opportunities, ass-sniffing possibilities, and very little dignity from anyone involved.
Unicorn Hamster calls in to argue he’s not racist because black-approved fried chicken apparently counts as evidence now, which is not how any of this works.
Ropes and Up confesses he finally had to tap out during the infamous pink-pussy-milk vomit material, which honestly feels like a reasonable boundary to discover after 20 years.
Robert Faggot closes things out with an asexual-twins pun that gets polite acknowledgment and almost no mercy, which feels correct for birthday-week Tim.
💰 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.

🎧 Episode Summary
Friday’s episode is a classy little sewer dive into porn preservation, sugar-baby road rage in Florida, Christian men too horny to survive a normal gym, and the shocking rise of the butt crack as porn’s next great frontier. Basically, DV stays committed to public service.
🔥 Episode Highlights
Archive.org porn librarians are out there preserving everything from filthy VHS phone-sex ads to lactation negotiations, proving once again that history belongs to the most committed perverts.
A 67-year-old Villages sugar daddy allegedly turned a paid Tinder date into a retirement-community car chase, two intentional crashes, and a handgun standoff when he wanted his money back.
Christian entrepreneurs are opening men-only gyms because regular co-ed gyms apparently contain too many dangerous titties and not enough accountability.
Butt cracks are having a moment online, with porn viewers now demanding slower reveals, more focus, and apparently food-themed crack content no one was asking for out loud.
🎶 Opening Chaos
The show opens with Nick Fuentes reviewing Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey like a guy trying to boycott reality itself, then immediately admitting the movie made too much money for his tantrum to matter.
Tim spends the opening stretch pondering whether porn counts as art, then immediately finds the strongest possible argument in favor of preservation: old-school sleaze so deranged it probably belongs in a museum basement.
🧟 Ongoing Freaks And Updates
Tim discovers a YouTube nutjob whose entire life seems to be getting banned from apps, ranting about Gravity Falls playback problems, threatening YouTube’s CEO, and treating every moderation decision like the collapse of civilization.
The same internet messiah also spirals over Reddit, GameRant, Discord, and basically every website unlucky enough to let him type for five seconds.
Listener follow-up brings a little Galileo 2333 lore, including predictive programming, gematria, and the reminder that the internet always has one more numerology freak waiting in the wings.
🎥 Porn As High Culture
D.D. Teoli Jr. A.C., patron saint of horny archivists, gets a loving salute for uploading an absurd range of adult material, including pop-up ads, porn trailers, phone-sex promos, and ancient jizz-soaked interviews.
A gloriously trashy clip features a pregnant porn performer getting asked, immediately after a scene, whether she’ll come back later for a lactation video and spray breast milk all over someone’s face.
The 1989 pregnancy porno Ready to Drop delivers a drunken doctor, a medical chart, and one of the least educational educational segments ever recorded.
V, the Hot One gets spotlighted as a “raunchy elegance” masterpiece, complete with finger blasting, prostitution, and a cop yelling, “Lady, stop that sucky.”
🗞️ Distorted News
Florida’s Villages coughs up another masterpiece when a sugar-baby date allegedly ends with a pickup-truck pursuit, a smashed car, and a gun being pulled in one of America’s horniest retirement colonies.
Men-only Christian gyms are pitching themselves as safe spaces for spiritually fragile husbands who apparently cannot do a bench press if a woman in leggings exists somewhere in the building.
The butt crack, not the ass as a whole, not the butthole, but the actual crack, is now being treated like premium fetish real estate by people who have clearly exhausted the rest of the human body.
📞 Listener Interaction And Voicemails
Dankton checks in to agree that the Australian twins are somehow worse than the asexuals, which is saying a lot in a world already overloaded with irritating duos.
Robert Faggett inspires a quick nostalgia spiral about old-school freaks like Electro Baby, plus a side trip into flavored water, creamy coconut Dr Pepper, and Tim’s still-unfinished quest for Cactus Cooler.
The week closes with listeners, weird soda talk, and one final milk-squirting clip to send everyone into the weekend with some dignity already missing.
💰 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.

🎧 Episode Summary
Wednesday’s show splashes into trans piss porn, a pronoun meltdown that ends in tasers, a Toronto escort who just wants to get eaten out, a country concert urine attack, a mime covered in cooking oil, and one very naked man surfing a moving train like his life was sponsored by vodka and poor judgment.
🎶 Opening Chaos
Frilly Hayes kicks things off with a deeply cursed piss clip involving a trans woman, a bed that absolutely did not deserve this, and the revelation that most of the urine wasn’t even hers.
Black Prophet Legacy sends Tim the X link that unleashes an entire discussion about mommy-daughter pee fetish energy, mattress damage, hydration levels, and why some people should never be allowed near fabric upholstery again.
Tim briefly defends himself against the usual transphobia accusations by pointing out that when he mocks a trans person, it’s usually because they’re doing something spectacularly stupid, not because they’re trans. Today’s examples give him plenty to work with.
🔥 Episode Highlights
Jarrett Vick, a blue-haired Florida screecher in pink tights, hijacks a police scene that had nothing to do with him and turns it into a full-blown bodycam freakout over pronouns, oppression, and being “abused” by cops who just wanted him to stop screaming.
The whole meltdown escalates from “use the right pronouns” to running, resisting, getting tased, and still somehow finding time to correct officers mid-arrest. Commitment to the bit, if nothing else.
Sagittarius Shawty returns with another hopeless romantic disaster, this time involving a guy who buys her McDonald’s, gets drunk with her, nuts in her mouth, and still won’t eat her out. True love remains elusive.
🧟 Ongoing Freaks and Updates
Sag insists she’s looking for a real relationship, while also explaining that her latest “date” openly said he doesn’t want anything serious and appears to be treating her apartment like a tequila-fueled blowjob station.
Her main compatibility standard remains crystal clear: if a man won’t eat it, he’s out, no matter how clean he smells, how nice he looks, or how circumcised he may be.
The Toronto legend is also now reportedly on generic semaglutide, which means we may be entering a whole new era of Sagittarius updates, complete with low-battery smoke detector ambiance.
🗞️ Distorted News
Baltimore country concert piss assault: a New York family says a drunk man at a Morgan Wallen show whipped out his dick and urinated on a man, his wife, and his eight-year-old niece, while responding officers initially acted like there was basically nothing they could do.
Massachusetts mime terror: a man in pale makeup, a top hat, and a black suit is accused of repeatedly harassing female park employees, including one episode where he allegedly stripped to his underwear, coated himself in cooking oil, and exercised near them like a greasy nightmare from hell.
Colorado nude train surfing: an Arizona man was arrested after allegedly breaking into a Union Pacific locomotive, getting naked, and surfing on top of the moving train while professing his love of vodka, beer, and the banjo.
📞 Listener Interaction and Voicemails
A listener calls in with praise for the unforgettable story about a guy who cut off his penis, lit it on fire, and threw it into a garage, suggesting it deserves year-end Distorted View story-of-the-year honors.
Another caller confesses to deleting an older woman’s notes app at a Verizon store, only to learn afterward that it allegedly contained all her important information and memories of her dead husband. Customer service with a nice little body count.
Unicorn Hamster checks in again, confirms he is extremely vocal during sex, mourns the loss of a neighbor he’d hoped to drag into a threesome, and somehow turns grief into the usual horny chaos.
Sweet Leprechaun continues the campaign to turn Prescription Lady into a pharmaceutical ad spokesperson, while other callers weigh in on old-lady walks, aging injuries, and whether smoke detectors need special settings for people who can’t hear a damned thing anymore.
💰 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.

🎧 Episode Summary
Monday’s show kicks off with fish-juice vomiting, rolls through a wearable laundry basket infomercial, stops for a painfully sincere queer-podcast apology, and somehow still finds time for a deformed raccoon hero, a burger slogan censorship fight, and Florida fentanyl stashed in every available body compartment.
🎶 Opening Chaos
The Surströmming Fish Juice and Sprite Challenge opens the show with exactly the kind of dry-heaving, sinus-burning regret you’d hope for when idiots start innovating fermented fish content.
TV listener We Know Funny sponsors the episode with a shout-out for poet Andy Bennett, prompting Tim to immediately pivot into the immortal wheelchair-van sex poem and wonder whether Andy’s Patreon contains anything nearly that unwell.
A special poetry tangent spirals into cripple erotica, vehicle lust, and murder-suicide van heaven, which feels about right for a Monday.
🔥 Episode Highlights
Luggies, the as-seen-on-TV “future of laundry baskets,” gets the full DV treatment. It’s basically a backwards wearable fabric hammock for hauling dirty clothes while looking like a complete asshole.
The commercial insists laundry is so physically dangerous that women are collapsing to the floor, fumbling socks, and apparently one step away from needing FEMA intervention.
Tim’s fake product riffing is in peak form, including a detour into the imaginary Mushmaster, a machine that pre-chews dinner into a slurry you can drink through a straw like a civilized pig.
🧟 Ongoing Freaks and Meltdowns
The Queer Collective offers up one of the most exhausting apology videos imaginable, complete with solemn prepared statements, identity panic, and endless self-flagellation over saying a woman could sleep with one man a year and still call herself a lesbian.
Tim explains exactly why he could never host a gay-themed podcast: not because he lacks homosexual experience, but because the audience would eat him alive within three episodes.
A pair of foul-mouthed passengers turn an Uber ride into a profanity hostage situation after being asked not to cuss, screaming about rights, disrespect, and “protecting black women” before getting tossed out and leaving the driver with the worst ride review of his life.
🗞️ Distorted News
Indiana food truck censorship: Scott Sims says his truck Smash Daddy’s Burgers, Fries, etc. was booted from the statehouse market because of its longtime slogan, You’ll Love Our Meat in Your Mouth, which somehow only just now became too spicy for Indiana government workers.
Seattle raccoon celebrity: a physically deformed raccoon named Jimothy becomes a viral sensation thanks to his compact no-neck build, his neighborhood survival story, and the internet’s endless need to canonize odd little freaks.
Florida fentanyl bust: Yonisha Smith is accused of trafficking fentanyl hidden in multiple body locations, including her bra, her vagina, and between her butt cheeks, giving Tim plenty of time to workshop the concept of premium bra fent versus discounted pussy-juice fent.
📞 Listener Interaction and Voicemails
Greg from Austin calls in furious about old people camping at the grocery customer-service desk to slowly scratch lottery tickets while everyone else waits for eternity.
Bader Jisberg nearly drives off the road laughing at all the recent prescription lady insanity and checks in on Too Good To Go, which leads Tim into a bagel-hoarding confession and a flood-survival story powered entirely by bargain food pickup.
A mystery caller finally explains his bad audio, and Tim responds by revisiting the dumbest anti-trans argument imaginable: someone claiming they can taste testosterone during sex.
💰 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.

🎧 Episode Summary
Friday’s show is a beautiful trash fire of broke-guy financing, vegan dick songs, Meade Skelton losing his mind over self-checkout, a naked gun-runner, an Uber scissors stabbing, and ChatGPT allegedly cheering on a woman’s delusions all the way into traffic. Real feel-good summer material.
🎶 Opening Chaos
Josh Sakers returns from the vegan content graveyard with another horny plant-based anthem, once again making it crystal clear that animal products will shut down his crotch for business.
Tim revisits Josh’s ancient cow-costume vegan propaganda, complete with teat-offering educational outreach and a lesbian on a park bench who immediately clocks him as a fraud.
The musical update gets even grimmer: Josh is still making songs, still sounding terrible, and now apparently dealing with a detached retina, which Tim gently suggests may not be helping the whole vegan optics problem.
🧟 Ongoing Freaks and Updates
Meade Skelton pops up on Mead Ministry looking slimmer, stranger, and somehow even more convinced that Jesus is monitoring his heart rate at the gym like a divine personal trainer with a clipboard.
Meade insists the Holy Spirit tells him when medical emergencies are real, which is not exactly reassuring from a man who has previously wept on camera while wrestling with bleach-drinking demon thoughts.
Customer service rant mode kicks in hard as Meade complains about Wendy’s filth, Kroger checkout issues, pot-smoking bag boys, and the collapse of old-fashioned niceness, all while apparently using Affirm to finance groceries.
In a rare miracle, Meade makes it through a full boomer meltdown about the younger generation without getting openly racist, which honestly counts as character growth.
🔥 Episode Highlights
Tim’s Meade analysis is top shelf today, from the bizarre hair situation to the revelation that Meade may be the only man alive treating buy-now-pay-later grocery debt like a normal adult errand.
Maine Senate candidate Ashley Webb enters the picture as a possible replacement for the Nazi-tattoo rape guy, and somehow her opening qualification is basically “I’ve lost a lot of elections.”
The Australian twins are back with another unbearable synchronized-speaking bird update, once again sounding less like siblings and more like a long-running psychological experiment.
🗞️ Distorted News
Mississippi naked gun stop: Caitlin Maxwell gets pulled over while allegedly driving a Dodge Challenger completely naked, leading police to discover marijuana, multiple firearms, and suspected machine-gun conversion devices. Casual Sunday night stuff.
Florida Uber scissors attack: Lynn Marie Zamora is accused of stabbing a male friend after a fight over whether she could drink beer inside an Uber, proving once again that rideshare vehicles are just roaming little murder boxes.
ChatGPT delusion lawsuit: an Alabama family sues OpenAI, alleging the chatbot reinforced a woman’s religious delusions, convinced her her soul would live inside the system, and pushed her toward suicide as part of a “divine prophecy.” Cheerful future we’re building here.
📞 Listener Interaction and Voicemails
The 4 Hairy Cunt text line delivers more breakfast cereal debate, a fresh suggestion for weekly sponsorships, and renewed appreciation for Tim apparently looking breedable after the weight loss.
Rectum Ralph checks in with background on the train-autistic Big Boy enthusiast, revealing that the guy is apparently a full-blown celebrity in the railfan ecosystem.
Unicorn Hamster calls to ask the important culinary question of our time: what exactly is the recipe for dick cheese, prompting an AI-powered musical response no one needed and everyone got anyway.
Dragon Cum Here follows up on the anime dating clip, while Sweet Recto Morales pitches the obvious sequel Tim now has to make: Rape Academy 2, summer school edition.
💰 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.

🎧 Episode Summary
Wednesday’s show is a real sampler platter of beautiful American rot: autistic train ecstasy, woodland white-pride poetry, a fat-fetish social network full of horny weirdos, a military asshole-blister crisis, Chuck Schumer possibly farting on C-SPAN, and a Florida woman accidentally rolling around with a license plate that basically says squeeze ass.
🎶 Opening Chaos
The episode opens with a deranged fake Kroger pear sale ad, complete with jam jars, pear bowls, pear pie, and poor Doug getting publicly blamed for ordering a truly irresponsible amount of fruit.
Tim also mourns the fact that he missed Big Boy, the giant steam locomotive currently making train autistics across the country spiritually levitate.
A train fan’s emotional meltdown over seeing Big Boy becomes the jumping-off point for a full conversation about why trains continue to short-circuit the autistic brain in the most wholesome way possible.
🧟 Ongoing Freaks / Updates
Big Boy apparently rolled through Ashtabula doing weird reverse maneuvers, which somehow makes Tim feel like he missed a once-in-a-lifetime rail-based miracle.
There’s also a return to one of DV’s favorite recurring internet species: deeply strange people uploading videos that absolutely did not need to exist, including one spoken-word racist in the woods and a whole ecosystem of feeder-fetish lunatics online.
🔥 Episode Highlights
A self-serious spoken-word piece called My White Skin delivers all the energy of a white supremacist open mic held behind a tractor shed. The imagery includes clouds, glaciers, white roses, and a level of confidence the material absolutely did not earn.
Tim also digs into Phoebe, a social network for fat people and their admirers, where users post weight gains like proud baby announcements and thirsty creeps write things like yum yum stretch marks with their whole chest.
The site’s fetish menu includes force feeding, immobility, messy eating, MPreg, and blueberry, which turns out to be exactly the inflation fetish nightmare you were hoping it wasn’t.
An app called Obedience rounds out the kink-tech coverage, offering doms a full-featured BDSM task manager so they can reward or punish their little piss goblins with the efficiency of a project-management platform.
🗞️ Distorted News
Chuck Schumer may or may not have let out a suspicious Senate-floor fart while criticizing Trump, and the internet immediately did what it does best: forensic gas analysis.
A Florida tattoo artist nicknamed Nemo was arrested after police say he was caught outside his apartment complex at 2:30 a.m. with his pants down and a sex toy in his ass, because Florida remains committed to public indecency innovation.
A Pompano Beach retiree received a standard-issue Florida plate reading SQZ A55, which sure looks a lot like squeeze ass, turning a perfectly normal registration renewal into the hottest plate in the retirement community.
📞 Listener Interaction / Voicemails
Stacey in DC writes in to ask what the hell that bizarre inheritance-family-drama call was from the day before, which honestly remains a fair and unresolved question.
A listener suggests Ligbit cereal as a DV store item, because once you’ve invented Crunch Browns, there’s really no reason not to keep ruining breakfast.
Magic Maggie gets compared to a new-generation Rain Florence style public-disaster creature, this time with circus dreams and family shame.
A caller reports having a dream where Tim was hanging around during some weird near-sex business trip scenario involving brownies, which is either medication side effect or destiny.
Harold calls just to celebrate the Florida jingle, which is frankly the healthiest possible use of the voicemail line.
💰 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.