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Monday Dec 15, 2025
Monday Dec 15, 2025
Distorted View Daily — Monday, December 15, 2025 (Show Notes)
Kick off the week with 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily and a fresh batch of filth, freaks: $3 off ALL Distorted View mugs (including new designs like Rimjob Raccoon) using promo code LATTE (L-A-T-T-E) at shop.distortedview.com.
Today’s Highlights (aka: why your therapist hates this podcast)
Holiday merch deal: $3 off any DV mug for 24 hours with LATTE at shop.distortedview.com
Sponsor shout-out: “Urethral Fistula” gifts the show to his brother Dan… and Tim delivers a scorched-earth “welcome back” message plus a bonus Heavy Bertation Monday
Heavy Bertation segment: a classic news-anchor brain-glitch that spirals into total word-salad madness (and somehow becomes a love letter to neurological failure)
Pause Load Monday returns: a quick-and-nasty “toxic seed” audio clip that immediately goes too far (but you knew that already)
Mead Skelton meltdown: Mead posts a sad YouTube confession about having no friends, then explains he mainly wants a friend for wingman services and “structure”
Mead’s cursed dating history: includes an epileptic racist date, a chimp-attack injury story, and the revelation that 8-year-old Mead thought a “tent kiss” got a girl pregnant
Jesse Lee Peterson vs. Erica Kirk: Jesse reacts to widow Erica Kirk grieving on camera and… predictably says the quiet part loudly (and stupidly)
Police bodycam traffic stop chaos: a simple tint/plate issue turns into cuffs, screaming relatives, and expensive consequences—because cooperation is apparently illegal in this family
Distorted News: the Ohio BMV rejected vanity plates list is packed with poop, drugs, sex, and threats—plus the U.S. Supreme Court’s latest reminder that states can keep rejecting plate messages
Distorted News: What got rejected (Ohio vanity plates)
A sampling of the denied personalized plates includes:
Bathroom panic: POOPSACK, I HAVE TO PEE, HV2POOP, GTA2POOP
Drugs: HEROIN, ONMETH, LOVEMETH, NOMETH
Sex/NSFW: 69LMAO, MILF, STROKEN
Violence/threats: ILLCUTU, SLOWHO
Politics-coded entries also show up in the mix (because of course they do)
Community Stuff & Freak Interactions
New 4HAIRYCNT text line gets plugged (because Tim’s brand is professionalism)
Texts roast Tim for blowing money on Nintendo while “cheap-ing out” on the kitchen remodel with Lord Douche
Listener photo “kind of nude” gets added to Tim’s “spank bank” (a sentence that should get you flagged from polite society)
Voicemails: long-time Sideshow member jokes about “canceling” to rejoin via the updated site, plus a recommendation to look up Ratgrave for VR trolling/proximity-chat style chaos
Quick PSA: Acid enemas are a terrible idea
Tim digs into the horrific medical reality behind corrosive enemas, including documented cases of severe colon damage, emergency surgery, strictures, and risks like perforation/sepsis—then, naturally, immediately turns it into an invitation for future “anything in the anus” breaking news coverage.
Deal reminder: $3 off ALL DV mugs today only with LATTE at shop.distortedview.comPodcast keywords for search: Distorted View Daily, Tim Henson, comedy podcast, Sideshow, Ohio BMV rejected vanity plates, acid enema dangers, Mead Skelton, Heavy Bertation, police bodycam traffic stop, Jesse Lee Peterson, Charlie Kirk widow Erica Kirk
Friday Dec 12, 2025
Friday Dec 12, 2025
Distorted View Daily – Friday, December 12, 2025
Comedy Podcast | Bizarre News | Offensive Humor | Satire
Today’s 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily brings you $5 off the Distorted View semi-automatic (not a gun) foldable umbrella. Head to shop.distortedview.com and use promo code WET (W-E-T) to save $5 today only.
Tim Henson delivers another unhinged episode of Distorted View Daily, packed with offensive satire, bizarre crime stories, deranged religious freak-outs, and listener insanity.
Highlights include:
A religious leader argues it’s okay to start calling people the F-word again—and really wants you to mean it
Glenn Beck debuts an AI version of George Washington, prompting Tim to respond with his own grotesquely horny founding father interview featuring John Jay
A man claiming to be Jesus Christ goes on a destructive rampage inside a church, falls repeatedly, screams at police, and ends up tased and arrested
A Florida man crashes a stolen BMW at high speed and tells deputies he didn’t steal it—he was teleported into the car by aliens and the X-Men
GameStop’s “Trade Anything Day” results in people exchanging taxidermy animals, dead geese, creepy dolls, street signs, and garbage for a $5 gift card
Listener-sponsored chaos courtesy of Ropes of Nut, including an extended “test of patience” smoke alarm audio experiment
Tim spirals into rants about itchy balls, dry skin, IBM Model M keyboards, and why conservative podcasters keep stealing his bits
Freak voicemails, texts to the 4-Hairy-Cunt line, Mennonite listeners rediscovering the show after 20+ years, and kitchen renovation misery with Lord Douche
Distorted View Sideshow Memberships now 22%–33% off for the holidays
Thousands of exclusive episodes dating back to 2006
Sign up at distortedview.com
Support on Patreon: patreon.com/distortedview
Sponsor an episode for $25 via PayPal: show@distortedview.com
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Text line: 4-Hairy-Cunt
Rate, review, and spread the distortion
Distorted View Daily is an explicit comedy podcast featuring dark humor, offensive satire, and the most twisted news stories from around the world. Listener discretion is strongly advised.
On Today’s Episode:Support the Show:Get Involved:
Wednesday Dec 10, 2025
Wednesday Dec 10, 2025
Distorted View Daily – December 10, 2025NSFW comedy podcast • weird news • Florida man crime • electric rectum pain • Sagittarius Shaughty sponge saga
Today’s midweek freak-show is packed with medical misery, bad life choices, and holiday deals:
🎁 12 Deals of DV: Hat DayTim kicks things off with a limited-time merch deal: get $5 off any hat at shop.distortedview.com with promo code GIVEHEAD (today only).
🎅 Santa, Hit Me Harder (Listener Message Bit)A very intense “letter to Santa” turns into full-blown festive BDSM roleplay. Nothing says Christmas like begging St. Nick to beat you purple.
🧳 Listener Sponsor: Mark’s Big Move & eBay Junk FestDV listener Mark is moving out of the country and selling 50 years of accumulated crap on eBay – books, CDs, tech junk, vintage gadgets, even a Palm Pilot and a label printer.
Use promo code Timmyboo for 11% off
You also get a free creepy family photo
Link: tinyurl.com/MarksMove (also in the show notes on distortedview.com)
💀 “Don’t Stick It in Crazy” – Side Chick Truck Drag DisasterTim plays wild footage of a guy cheating with a very unstable side piece who drags him down the road with her truck after he stops calling.
Clinging to the door at highway speed
Broken ankle in the middle of traffic
Tim’s advice: if you need variety, hire a professional—don’t risk your limbs on chaotic affair partners.
🧽 Sagittarius Shaughty vs. The Sponge (Again)Our favorite chaotic escort is back with another “sponge stuck in the no-no square” emergency room saga:
Sponge used to block period blood during clients
Aggressive customer hammers it deeper in
Multiple failed attempts to fish it out at 3 a.m.
ER visit filmed for Vlogmas 2026Plus: body-shaming a client’s tiny equipment, refusing to do anything beyond the bare minimum, and still somehow booking more appointments.
🎭 Art Corner: Bruce Nauman’s “Good Boy, Bad Boy”Tim discovers 1980s performance artist Bruce Nauman and his dual-screen piece “Good Boy, Bad Boy”:
Two actors repeating lines like “I have sex / you have sex / we have sex”
Lines shifting from neutral to angry to exhausted
Tim remixes it into “I like to s*** / this is piss” and declares it the perfect DV theme.
🚓 Police Bodycam: “You Had to Be a F*ing American”**A state trooper melts down on a driver who questioned his speeding and tailgating:
Driver has marijuana in the car and still decides to confront the cop
Cop snaps, cites statutes, stomps the weed container, and rants about the public
Tim compares it to his own near-disaster with an angry cop in traffic.
⚡ Health Segment: Electric Rectum & Lightning CrotchFrom London comes the delightful diagnosis of “electric rectum” (aka Proctalgia Fugax) and “lightning bum”:
Sudden electric shock feelings in the back door
More common than people think, often harmless but terrifying
Tied to pelvic floor spasms, IBS, infections, and more
Tim dusts off the legendary Kegel Song and imagines a world where pelvic exercises save your anus.
🍳 Florida Man Tries to Kill Mom with a Frying PanIn peak Florida man fashion, a 53-year-old allegedly tries to murder his 82-year-old mother:
Attacked her with a frying pan, then tried to smother her with pillows
Claims he was overwhelmed by her early dementia and caregiving needs
Tim (darkly) riffs on how easy it would be to discreetly kill a dementia patient—and how this guy chose the stupidest possible method.
☎️ Voicemails, Texts & Lord Douche Updates
Texts about urine stem cells and people defending pee-drinkers
Listener Dion demands timestamps for Unicorn Hamster so he can skip him
Praise for kitchen renovation updates and pleas for Lord Douche to appear on the show (with voice disguise and conditions)
Rants about roundabouts, “electric rectum” as a band name, and a throwback to John Ashcroft’s “Let the Eagle Soar.”
💸 Support DV & Holiday Sideshow Deals
Holiday Sideshow sale: monthly, yearly, and lifetime memberships 22–33% off at distortedview.com
Access to the full archive, past minis, and exclusive episodes
Patreon: patreon.com/distortedview
Sponsor an episode for $25 via PayPal to show@distortedview.com
📞 Voicemail & Text LineCall or text 206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) – or text 4HAIRYCUNT – to share your own weird news, bodily malfunctions, or Florida-level life choices.
Monday Dec 08, 2025
Monday Dec 08, 2025
Distorted View Daily Show Notes – Monday, December 8, 2025Host: Tim HensonEpisode type: Free show / Adult comedy podcast / NSFW bizarre news, internet weirdos & Christmas misery
It’s the start of the 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily and Tim is kicking off the holidays by dangling promo codes in front of your dead eyes so you don’t blow your brains out before Christmas dinner.
In this episode, Tim:
Announces all four versions of “I Don't Know” are now on Spotify, Apple Music, and other streaming services, including:
Tomoki Hensouni Super Flower Pop Go kawaii J-pop
Elmer Whalen’s country version
Tainted Broth’s heavy take
Zenrhyna Bricklayer’s version of “I Don’t Know”
Previews a new “dead fat Hawaiian ukulele” work-in-progress track in the spirit of Israel Kamakawiwoʻole’s Over the Rainbow/“What a Wonderful World” medley – but with way more ass and cum talk, obviously.
Segment 1: Will Blunderfield’s Canadian Five-Skin & Anal Gland Love
Tim checks back in with Will Blunderfield, who is:
Bragging about his “Canadian five-skin” and the special stink trapped underneath
Brewing toilet “lemonade”, sniffing foreskin piss, and musing about wearing his own bowel scent as perfume
Explaining why sniffing, licking and rubbing your “hummus cannon” against another dude is the “most heterosexual thing in the universe” as long as you don’t cum
Insisting he’s not gay while describing dates with “beautiful hairy French dudes” who want his unwashed foreskin
If you like piss, pits, poop, and delusion disguised as “lineage work,” this segment is for you.
Segment 2: Jesse Lee Peterson, Hispanics, Trump & Epstein Island
Next up, Tim dives into fresh clips from Jesse Lee Peterson:
Jesse claims “most Hispanics” are dishonest thieves who say “oh, señor” while stealing construction equipment
Argues he doesn’t care about the Epstein files, because “it was their party and they can party if they want to” – even if that party involves underage girls
Measures whether people are “noble” solely by whether they “love Donald Trump”
Somehow maintains a huge right-wing audience despite sounding like a man who can barely operate his own saliva
Tim compares the allegations against Jesse Lee (preying on vulnerable ex-addicts) with his indifference toward Epstein, and wonders how anyone hears this and thinks, “Yes, this is my guy.”
Segment 3: “Bussy” Talk with Thursday Lane
Tim checks in with Thursday Lane, who has just discovered:
“Bussy” = boy pussy, something Distorted View has been screaming about for decades
He’s inventing phrases like “you so bussy” and dreaming up a Disney Channel-style sitcom called “That’s So Bussy” starring a psychic twink with a BBL
Threatens to keep himself “so bussy” that your parents and grandparents will fantasize about tasting his “front or back or both”
It’s pure thirsty chaos.
Segment 4: Pantone’s “Cloud Dancer” – Color of the Year or White Supremacist Beige?
Tim breaks down the online outrage over Pantone naming Cloud Dancer (an off-white shade) as the 2026 Color of the Year:
Twitter/TikTok activists insist white/neutral minimalism is “a dog whistle” and “primetime Klan shit”
Some claim white interiors and minimalist design are inherently racist because they “erase culture”
Tim notes Pantone previously picked “Mocha Moose” (a brown tone) with zero racial discourse and suspects Pantone is rage-baiting on purpose to get attention
Slides in real-life sadness about his own kitchen renovation hell: endless white countertops, discontinued slabs, porcelain vs quartz, ugly vintage tile, subfloor nightmares, and dogs literally eating chunks of the kitchen floor
Segment 5: Virtual Kidnapping Scams & Elderly Parents Falling for AI Videos
In the news portion, Tim covers:
The FBI warning about “virtual kidnapping” scams, where criminals:
Use AI/Photoshop to fake photos of your kids chained up or thrown in a van
Grab images from social media and demand quick ransom via text
Often ask for payment in gift cards and other untraceable methods
The advice to set a family “code word” to confirm real emergencies
Tim’s mom falling for every ridiculous AI video she sees on TikTok, including fake dogs dancing the Macarena and AI clips of Tim on Hollywood Squares
Segment 6: Meth Deposit at the Bank Drive-Thru (Ohio, Of Course)
Finally, a festive story from Ohio:
A man accidentally sends a bag of meth through a bank’s pneumatic tube instead of his paperwork
Bank staff discover the “crystal-like substance” and call police
Deputies track him down, find more drugs, and arrest him
The sheriff trolls with a PSA reminding people they can drop off drugs at the sheriff’s office for safe disposal instead of using the drive-thru
12 Deals of Distorted View Daily – Today’s Promo Code
To keep you from ending it all before Christmas, Tim launches the 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily:
Today only:
Grab the new Distorted View phone case (fits major iPhones, Google Pixel, Samsung Galaxy models)
Use promo code CONDOM at checkout and take $5 off
Available now at shop.distortedview.com in the “Fun Stuff” category
Think of it as a cell phone prophylactic with the DV logo plastered all over it.
Support Distorted View Daily
Help keep this NSFW comedy freak show going:
Holiday Sideshow sale:
Monthly: $6.99
Yearly: $66.99
Lifetime: 20%+ off the normal membership price
Sign up at distortedview.com to unlock Sideshow exclusive episodes, including tomorrow’s full-length members-only show
Patreon: support the show at patreon.com/distortedview
Sponsor a show: PayPal $25 to show@distortedview.com and get your own custom listener sponsorship segment
If you’re into gross audio, bizarre internet people, offensive jokes, weird news and listener voicemails, Distorted View Daily is the deeply wrong holiday tradition you’ve been waiting for.
Friday Dec 05, 2025
Friday Dec 05, 2025
On Today's Show:
On today’s show:
💋 Hand Pussy & “Podcasturbation” Guy ReturnsRichard is back with a fresh episode of his masturbation-only show, complete with “hand pussy” talk, baby voice humiliation, and a formal “No Pussy Pledge” for self-described beta male wankers. Tim reads the pledge, riffs on the mantras, and imagines Mr. Rogers calmly guiding you to your next sad ejaculation.
🕌 Valentina Gomez vs. Everyone (Including Piers Morgan)Congressional hopeful / professional Islamophobe Valentina Gomez storms a “pedophile church,” calls for killing gays and tearing down mosques, then takes her hateful catchphrases (“don’t be weak and gay”) to Piers Morgan’s show. Tim breaks down her Texas campaign, her obsession with Muslims, and the moment Piers pretends he’ll never book her again (yeah, right).
🤮 Drive-By Puking in the Club BathroomA TikTok bro camping in the restroom entrance gets exactly what you’d expect: a stranger’s full-force vomit blast down his back. Tim critiques bathroom doorway loitering, fuzzy TikTok mics, and the idea of starting a fight with the guy who’s actively mid-puke.
🚒 Paramedic by Day, Piss Vandal by NightA Baltimore County firefighter/paramedic allegedly films himself masturbating and urinating on shared station gear, food, and iceboxes for paid adult sites. Tim goes through the tags (“co-worker,” “vandalism,” “marking”), the hazmat cleanup, union outrage, and his annoyance that officials are still protecting the mystery perv’s identity (and making it harder to find the videos).
🇺🇸 Trump Revives the R-Word for Minnesota’s GovernorTim dives into Donald Trump’s Thanksgiving screed targeting Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz with an old-school slur, sparking “drive-by” hecklers yelling it outside the governor’s home. There’s talk of Somali refugees, fraud cases, Republicans reluctantly criticizing Trump, and Tim’s own long-running, deeply conflicted love of certain banned words.
🍑 Linda Finkel Hall of Fame: Booty Holes & Horror Vocals
A genuinely catchy ode to booty holes (brown like Toblerone, pink like bubblegum, halo-having “angelic” asses) impresses Tim too much to fully mock.
Then, a woman shrieks, creaks, and yelps over a bowed instrument while a live audience applauds. Tim dubs it “Tourette’s-core,” invokes Yoko Ono, and feeds the track into AI to see if the machine can make something even remotely listenable. It kinda does.
📻 Sponsor DJ & the Golden Age of PodcastingListener DJ sponsors the show and asks Tim to reminisce about the early podcast days:
Meeting PK & J in Columbus and guesting on their couples podcast
Hanging with Don & Drew, Madge Weinstein, and other indie weirdos at the first Podcast Awards
Winning multiple “Best Comedy Podcast” trophies and being exiled to the “Mature” category
Early cross-promo days with shows like Nobody Likes Onions and Red Bar, Flash-based web players, and DV on MySpace
🔧 Voicemails: Kitchen Chaos & Freak Meetups
A listener with IKEA war-story experience begs Tim and Lord Douche not to DIY their new kitchen cabinets unless they’re ready for a months-long relationship-ending nightmare.
Another caller floats the idea of a full-on DV Freak Fest at a hotel, Freaksgiving-style, with listeners flying in from around the country.
Plus, a classic food-service revenge tip involving eye drops and weaponized diarrhea.
🎄 Sideshow Deals & New DV Merch
Holiday Sideshow sale:
Monthly memberships: $6.99
Yearly memberships: $66.99
Lifetime membership: $350
Thousands of past episodes, exclusive Sideshow shows, and a special Patreon voicemail line for $5+ pledges.
New DV gear in the store, including Tainted Broth band merch (shirts, hoodies, drinkware) and new Distorted View phone cases for iPhone, Samsung, and Google devices.
Support options: Sideshow at distortedview.com, Patreon at patreon.com/distortedview, and $25 episode sponsorships via PayPal (show@distortedview.com).
☎️ How to Contact the Show
Email: show@distortedview.com
Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (206-666-OH GOD)
Text line: 4HAIRYCUNT or 206-666-4463
Socials: @distortedview on Twitter/X & Instagram
00:00:00
Introduction
03:55:16
Today's Listener Sponsor: DJ
06:06:04
Valentina Gomez Hating On Gays And Muslims
09:13:11
Valentina Vs. Piers Morgan
13:15:04
Puked On In A Public Restroom
14:57:08
Take The No Pussy Pathetic Masturbator Pledge
20:22:18
Help Me Find The Booty Clit
22:14:12
Yoko Ono Style Clucking And Clicking
25:48:05
Support Distorted View!
27:36:05
Donald Trump Is Ushering In A Golden Era For The R Word
33:25:08
Paradamedic By Day / Piss Vandal Also By Day
36:38:22
Sponsor Request: Old Podcasting Collabs
42:09:13
Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending
Thursday Dec 04, 2025
Thursday Dec 04, 2025
Tim pops in with a quick update: today’s Sideshow-exclusive episode is running a little behind schedule, so this morning you’re getting a Best Of — and for once, everyone gets to hear it. Sideshow freaks, don’t panic: your new episode will still hit later this afternoon. Friday’s show should drop at the normal time… assuming Tim doesn’t fall apart again.
Meanwhile, DV has “music” on Spotify and Apple Music. Yes, really. From sappy torch songs to country-ballad covers about riding a face with a big prick, Tim wants YOU to send these bizarre creations up the charts. Even Tainted Broth’s heavy-metal version of “I Don’t Know (If I Need You)” is out there now if you want to ruin your algorithm.
Today’s Best Of takes us back to December 30, 2013, showcasing one of DV’s most memorable interviews ever: A 19-year-old virgin who only gets off with Bad Dragon-style monster dildos. We’re talking shark dicks, werewolf cocks, dragons, tentacles, and a cum-tube “Chance” model that spews jizz like a busted caulk gun. She’s deeply into texture, size, and—apparently—shoving an orca inside herself. Oh, and she’s asexual. And clinically depressed. So yes, a perfect Distorted View listener.
Also in the 2013 episode:
Chopping up baby penises: A rabbi faces claims he accidentally severed a newborn’s entire dick during a circumcision.
Poop-based Christmas cheer: A Michigan man smears feces on a church door and then masturbates on the steps.
The world’s largest ass: A woman whose butt measures seven feet around struggles to fit through doors, pays $500/month for clothes, and proudly models thongs for online “big booty diva” fans.
Smoking PSA from a tattooed barber: The best barber in the world (self-titled) declares kids should start smoking immediately and that beaches are “just big ashtrays.”
Voicemails from the freaks: Corn-eaters, escorts with trauma, Clown Chew’s culinary turd adventures, and a guy who only calls Tim “faggot” despite once sounding completely normal.
Plus the usual DV flavor: depression, monster vaginas, fake cum geysers, morbid obesity rants, public masturbation, circumcision mishaps, and emotional damage baked right into the listener base.
If you’re not a Sideshow member, consider joining: thousands of archived shows and exclusive episodes every week. And don’t forget the DV Store—beanies, shirts, stickers, shot glasses, and more for freaks who want to look slightly worse in public.
Wednesday Dec 03, 2025
Wednesday Dec 03, 2025
On the show today:
FINAL DAY FOR “WEDNESDAY” SALE:Tim invents a brand new holiday just to grift you: Wednesday — the last chance to snag Sideshow memberships at Black Friday/Cyber Monday pricing:
$6 monthly
$60 yearly
$300 lifetime (no more recurring charges, you cheap pigs)
Kitchen Reno From Hell:
Lord Douche and Tim are locked in a domestic war over bisque vs. biscuit composite sinks.
Seven butter bells returned over micro-flaws, glazing, color, and the rotation of the Earth.
The kitchen is a hoarder zone; Tim has given up cleaning after being accused of throwing away “critical” chocolate shards reserved for hot cocoa.
Lord Douche must be mad about something at all times, and Tim’s gloves are apparently the source of all countertop chaos.
Gay Couple Cage Match:
TikTok captures two extremely dramatic gays going nuclear in a hallway over bags, rain, phones, and “you won’t let me leave!”
One queen screeches like he’s being murdered while… standing in the hallway totally free to go.
Tim compares the whole thing to a live-action remake of The Birdcage and imagines himself reacting the same way when Lord Douche rethinks the sink color.
Gabrielle Channa (Gail) Loses Her Antichrist Buffs:
Gail falls on a walk, skins her knee, and blames an “interdimensional attack.”
Claims her 10,000 IQ Antichrist healing powers have mysteriously stopped working.
Douses the wound in Dermoplast despite being allergic, then blames “automatons” for brain-controlling her into it.
Announces that doctor-husband Brent Spiner (Data from TNG) secretly did a knee replacement and replaced her synovial fluid with singer Zack Knight’s semen, which she insists is the “perfect antibiotic.”
Tim wonders how a deity with a trillion-IQ husband can’t handle a scrape.
Fat Activism vs. Parking Meters:
A West Hollywood fat activist melts down over cute “don’t feed me, I’m on a diet” meter stickers.
Tim points out it’s about quarters, not calories; not everything is a personal attack on your BMI.
Her art? Drawing beloved characters like Sailor Moon as super-obese.
Influencer vs. Olipop:
Plus-size influencer with millions of followers loses it because a soda brand only sent her swag up to XXL after she demanded 4X.
Tim notes that their business is soda, not custom-tailored circus tents, and encourages brands to avoid this walking PR landmine.
Creepy Cam Hackers in South Korea:
Four men allegedly hacked over 120,000 home and business IP cameras.
Sold explicit hacked footage (including bedrooms, karaoke rooms, and a gynecology clinic) for crypto.
Tim points out: if you’ve got a bedroom cam with the default password, you might be an unpaid porn star.
Japan’s “Zombie Cigarettes”:
New street drug: vape liquids laced with the medical anesthetic etomidate (a.k.a. “zombie juice,” “space oil,” “K-pods”).
Little to no euphoria, just instant sedation, twitching limbs, and full zombie mode.
Media fret that “zombie cigarette” sounds too cool; Tim prefers the branding “space oil” anyway.
Voicemails & Texts:
Holiday greetings from the freaks, Satan shoving baby Jesus up his ass, and questions about whether Lord Douche is secretly on the spectrum.
Shout-outs to listeners sending in sink suggestions (including a $25k surgical scrub sink), hole pics (and black holes), and confusion about what the hell to do with Scrod.net.
Tim plays a Snowplow Show prank call where Brad Carter repeatedly name-drops “Tim Henson from Distorted View” while blaming him for attempted car break-ins.
Support the Show:
Sideshow sale ends TODAY – $6 / $60 / $300 at distortedview.com.
New merch & returning favorites: Levenge hats, freak pillows, tote bags, t-shirts, drinkware and more at shop.distortedview.com (Sideshow freaks get 10% off).
Sponsor an episode for $25 via PayPal (show@distortedview.com or paypal.me/distortedview).
All that plus your voicemails, texts to 4-Hairy-Cunt, end-of-show jingles, and the eternal search for the perfect goddamn sink color.
Monday Dec 01, 2025
Monday Dec 01, 2025
On Today’s Show
🎵 DV Store Holiday Jingle
Musical intro promoting the updated DV store: hoodies, mugs, and an anime pillow you can defile in comfort.
Reminder: it’s “the first place to always find some dumb stupid shit.”
🍫 Ferrero Rocher Butt Porn
Tim talks about “innovative” porn that can’t make it on the show thanks to bad audio.
Highlight: a guy shoving a Ferrero Rocher up his ass, shitting it out, and eating it while it melts but stays “crunchy.”
🇺🇸🍆 MAGA Republican Cock Trainer
Hypnotic bait clip aimed at “Republican cock”: close-ups of dicks over rants about red pills, white supremacy, and violent fantasies.
Includes a surprise scat twist (“bait and shit”) and patriotic butt talk about needing “Aryan cum” in a pristine alabaster shithole.
Tim notes racist rhetoric is somehow weirder—but faintly more palatable—when attached to big floppy junk.
🦠 Cam Whore Venereal Show & Tell
Main feature: a cam girl turns her OnlyFans into a live STD seminar.
Raps about a dude who “messed her up,” admits to multiple recent partners, and complains about burning when she pees.
Peppermint gum “home remedy”: stuffs Extra gum inside and around her labia to cool the burn; instead creates a brutal yeast infection.
On cam, she shows swollen lips, cottage-cheese discharge, genital warts, and uses a flashlight for maximum trauma.
Tim points out that if your pussy is your livelihood, maybe don’t turn it into a yeast-infection lecture for paying customers.
🛒 Creepy Gas Station Pickup Attempt
Clip of an obviously unstable guy repeatedly telling a woman “let’s go fuck,” insisting she can call the cops after.
Calls himself “the baddest motherfucker in the whole multiverse.”
Tim riffs on how women have to be on constant alert while dudes breeze through life oblivious.
Jokes that he’d “take one for the team” and finish the guy off in the bathroom to keep him away from women.
🍅🧠 VRChat Tomato Allergy & Stress Seizure
Proximity Chat returns to VRChat, pelting a player who claims “phantom sense” and a severe tomato allergy.
Friends explain her brain remembers the touch/taste of tomatoes and can trigger swelling and seizures.
Virtual tomatoes cause her to meltdown, scream, and have a “seizure” while everyone panics in a fake-vegetable crisis.
Proximity recruits others to throw tomatoes, gets people banned, then reveals himself and is immediately banned again.
Tim plugs Proximity’s new video and promises a link in the show notes.
Cyber Monday Sideshow Deals & Support
💾 Sideshow Sale
Cyber Monday: 33% off monthly, yearly, and lifetime memberships.
Monthly: $6
Yearly: $60
Lifetime: $300
Sign up at DistortedView.com to unlock:
All weekly Sideshow-exclusive shows.
The full ~5,000-episode archive from the very beginning.
💳 Other Ways to Support
Patreon: Patreon.com/distortedview – $5+ gets you access to the special voicemail line.
Episode Sponsorships: $25 via PayPal (show@distortedview.com or paypal.me/distortedview) to plug something, force a clip, or send a message to a loved/hated one.
Listener Interaction
📲 Text & Voicemail
New text line: 4HAIRYCUNT (or old faithful 206-666-4463).
Listeners ask for more timestamps; Tim explains why they vanished earlier in the year and promises more episodes will have them again.