thdv12232

Hitler’s Lonely Little Testicle

On Today’s Show:
Mead Skelton Wants The Asylum (But Not Really)
Mead uploads (and quickly deletes) a video begging to be locked in a mental institution.
Tim explains why you should always locally save meltdowns from your favorite lolcows.
Mead rebrands into a “Xennial” and revisits his long line of “eccentric” relatives, including the uncle who stuffed cash in the walls and the almost-exploding inventor grandfather.
Nuisance Streamer at the Gym: “I’m Just Here to Get Pussy, Man”
A CrossFit prankster banned from the gym shows back up screaming about getting pussy in front of kids.
Staff finally put hands on him after he keeps barging in and harassing members.
Tim ponders if “I just wanna get pussy, man” is technically a valid gym membership reason and whether this all counts as justified assault or just 2025-style content farming.
Amazon Driver vs. Neighborhood Fun Police
An Amazon delivery driver gets confronted by the self-appointed HOA sheriff for “racing” down the street at 25 mph.
He threatens to cost her the job she already hates; she responds by delivering a fast, prime-eligible punch to the face.
Tim sides with the driver, notes that Amazon tracks literally everything, and predicts she’ll somehow still be the one in trouble.
Fine Dining at Burger King: Pronouns & Rodeo Burgers
An older “First Amendment lawyer” boomer has a meltdown because the drive-thru worker, Lily, dares to correct her pronouns.
She insists she’ll “call you what I see” while referring to herself as a longtime patron of Burger King like it’s a Michelin-star restaurant.
The owner tries (and mostly fails) to stand up for the employee as Tim imagines the woman’s empty, rage-fueled life between coupon complaints.
News Time: The Psychic Who Saw Billions (For Herself)
Australian cops bust a self-proclaimed feng shui master / fortune teller and her assistant for an insanely elaborate fraud and money laundering ring.
Vulnerable clients were told to take out huge loans because a billionaire was in their future – spoiler: it was the psychic.
Tens of millions in loans, ghost cars, frozen assets, gold bars, casino chips, and one greedy mystic who seriously overdid it.
Hitler’s Junk: Science We Didn’t Ask For
A new British documentary claims Hitler’s DNA suggests Kallman syndrome, which can cause low testosterone and an undescended or missing testicle.
Tim wonders how many Hitler docs we really need and if we’ve crossed into full-on historical body-shaming.
Polygenic scores, mental illness speculation, and why “Hitler had one ball” may actually be medically accurate… and totally irrelevant to genocide.
A Tribute to Level 80 Cat Lady
Listener sponsor Christy dedicates today’s episode to Level 80 Cat Lady, remembering her kindness and Discord hand-holding.
Tim revisits her obsession with Waluigi, including:
Waluigi’s floating VR head singing “Hallelujah.”
“Waluigi sings the hits” and the duet album Me Sing Now For You.
A graphic drawing of Waluigi as a woman lifting her skirt to proudly expose cartoon pussy lips—great Sextastic Tuesday art, terrible for CarPlay.
4HairyCunt Text Line & Voicemails
Tim plugs the 4HairyCunt text line and plays new messages, including:
Stacy in D.C. checking in about Tim’s Kia Soul adventure and testing the new line.
Old-school DV history from longtime listeners.
More rambling about side trips, old AIM days, and how long-time freaks still haunt the show in the best ways.
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Sperm Vending Machine: Freshly Dispensed Daddy Goo

On Today’s Show:
🚗 Rental Car & Tire Nightmare
Tim explains why you got a “best of” earlier in the day: he was stranded thanks to a leaking tire on a rental RAV4.
Gets blown off by “tire experts,” waits over four hours at Discount Tire while other black RAV4s jump the line, and slowly loses his mind next to a diseased, coughing child.
Enterprise once again has no cars, no answers, and a “just risk it” attitude toward driving four hours on a bad tire.
After bouncing between locations, Tim finally escapes in a shame-red Kia Soul.
💉 Mom’s Cancer Update
Tim’s mom has had the worst kind of thyroid cancer removed; what’s left are treatable “specks” radiation should clear.
If all goes well, she could be cancer-free in about six weeks.
Naturally derails into a horribly inappropriate “throat goat” bit before walking it back to normal throat activities.
🙏 TikTok Holy Ghost Prayer Stream
Tim finds a TikTok “Holy Ghost Prayer Meeting” where viewers send paid emojis and get prayed for in tongues.
The woman fully commits to the act; the guy just repeats what sounds like “bidet, bidet, bidet” or “banana” for over a minute.
Tim questions whether it’s tongues, Tourette’s, or just a nervous dude who needs to install a bidet.
🎶 Linda Finkel Hall of Fame: Pedo Death Metal
An obese white woman screeches a death-metal song about torturing pedophiles with wood chippers and nooses.
Tim points out that “I hate pedophiles” is not exactly a bold moral stance, but the delivery earns her a Linda Finkel Hall of Fame nod.
🧠 Galileo2333’s Hot Take on Mexico’s President
Favorite ghoul Galileo praises the man who groped Mexican president Claudia Sheinbaum, calling him a hero and arguing women should be assaulted out of power.
Tim fixates on how joyfully he says “violated” and fantasizes about what must be in his FBI file.
📰 News #1 – UK to Ban Choking / Suffocation Porn
UK plans to make porn showing choking or suffocation a “priority offense” on par with child sex abuse and terrorism content.
Platforms will have to proactively remove it; viewers/distributors could face penalties.
Tim mourns yet another weird kink category getting nuked and notes that “safe strangulation” probably isn’t real.
📰 News #2 – Facebook Sperm Market (“Sperm Vending Machines”)
Facebook groups connect “sperm donors” with would-be parents looking for cheap alternatives to fertility clinics.
Women report being pressured into sex (aka “natural insemination”), flashed, scammed, and harassed.
Serious risks: STIs, hidden genetic conditions, zero legal protection.
Tim riffs on thick vs watery cum, his crusty college carpet, and why nothing about this scene should surprise anyone.
📱 Texts & Ways to Support the Show
Listeners recommend “Lock and Load” and a ComeBiggerLoads regimen to help Tim shoot bigger ropes.
Longtime freaks thank Tim for ruining their childhoods and praise the Bob Hickman/Amber video as an accidental anti-drug PSA.

Presidential Fuck Machine, Abraham Lincoln: Emancipator of Tight Assholes

Tim opens with a fresh intro explaining why you’re getting a classic instead of a new show:
Weekend trip to visit his mom in Ashtabula turns into a rental car disaster
Stranded with a busted rental, five-hour delay, and useless Enterprise locations
Learns only airport rental counters are open on weekends
Forced to drive home in a bright cherry red Kia Soul that doesn’t fit a 6'2" man or his ego
Promises a new DV episode later in the afternoon, but for now serves up a filthy Best Of from 2016 featuring an Abraham Lincoln Sextastic Tuesday
We then jump back to Tuesday, March 8, 2016, Sideshow-era Sextastic Tuesday.
Opening / Twitter & Period Blood
Tim rants that Twitter is only good for yelling at companies, citing his Chipotle burrito bowl saga
Reads a curated stream of disgusting sex tweets about period blood, wrecked pussies, and weird-smelling dicks to set the Sextastic mood
Diva Cup Slam Poetry
Plays a performance piece about Diva Cups and “pussy blood collections”
Poets lovingly describe pouring menstrual blood into a “chalice” and even rubbing it on a boyfriend’s dick
Tim pushes back: bodies are gross, blood is gross, genitals are gross — please keep all that to yourself
Sextastic Clips: Tourette’s & Teeny Peenies
Tourette’s porn: schoolgirl with Tourette’s shouting obscene phrases as her “spasms” conveniently slam her face into dick territory
Chubby “sweet boy” porn: a massive, hairy man gets humiliating baby talk about his “little peenie” while his gut is lifted to find his dick, all set to bizarre children’s-style background music
Sextastic Story: Abraham Lincoln Presidential Fuck Machine
Feature-length erotic fanfic starring Abraham Lincoln with magic cum:
Abe wakes in 1863 with a raging erection and an itchy seven-point star birthmark on his thigh
Skips Mary Todd and gets serviced by maid Martha, who deep-throats his nine-inch “birch rod” while he calmly sips tea and eats biscuits
Later, Japanese emissary Takeyoshi reveals Lincoln is a chosen shinobi whose power comes from his loins
A super-charged orgasm blasts through the White House wall and across the sky like a cum comet
Abe then lubes up with breakfast butter, rails the ninja, and joins in a multi-man cabinet fuck session as everyone services everyone else
Lincoln’s “powers” manifest through gigantic loads and a convulsing ninja asshole
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Tim begs you to buy smut and support DV
News
China Elevator Horror
Woman dies trapped in a shut-down elevator; body discovered a month later
Scratch marks inside show she tried to escape; Tim imagines the smell and rats.
Punch-Your-Husband Women’s Day Event (China)
Husbands dress as padded human punching bags so wives can sock them for “forgiveness” and empowerment.
Texas School Board Nut – Mary Lou Bruner
Leading candidate believes:
Obama financed a drug habit as a male prostitute
School shootings started after evolution was taught
Dinosaurs rode out the flood on Noah’s Ark and died later
Climate change is a Marxist hoax
Tim notes she’s clearly insane, but also that the article about her is not exactly neutral.
Voicemails & Odds & Ends
Listener Elizabeth asks for a Richard Simmons birthday drop; Tim plays an ultra-creepy “Happy Birthday” clip for her.
Multiple freaks call about WhiteGuysFartInMyFace appearing on Tosh.0 months after DV covered him.
One listener insists Crystal Pepsi actually tasted good; Tim admits he liked it too.
Tim urges the Freak Army to pressure Tony’s to sell school-style Fiestada Mexican pizzas in normal grocery packs instead of bulk to schools.
Mentions revamping his old soda blog FizzledOut.com and wanting to post more beverage nostalgia.
Plays an old Pokémon parody sketch at the end where a cute kitty Pokémon gets annihilated by a giant bear.

The Minivan Messiah And His Divine Dumpster Queen - VIDEOCAST

🧠 Episode Summary
Tim dives deep into the deranged world of Bob Hickman, the Indianapolis cult oddity who famously claims that “God entered into my body like a body my same size, like me floating into you or you floating into me.” From his self-painted “holy van” to his vibrating skin and mesmerizingly bad haircuts, Bob continues to flood the internet with divinely insane content.
But this time, there’s a new holy disciple in the mix — Amber, Bob’s mysterious, twitchy, half-clothed companion who might just be the embodiment of bad life choices and meth. Tim breaks down their disturbing videos, from gas station date nights to Amber’s melting ice cream sandwiches, revealing what could be the greatest anti-drug PSA ever accidentally filmed.
🔍 Episode Highlights
Meet Bob Hickman: The Indianapolis prophet whose van and catchphrase went Reddit-famous.
God’s Body Double: Bob explains his spiritual possession experience and his “electric, vibrating skin.”
Amber, the Chosen One: Introducing Bob’s girlfriend — a twitching, mustachioed mystery woman who drinks mystery liquids and wears football cleats to gas stations.
Amber’s Instagram Past: Tim investigates an old account that might show Amber before her divine (and chemical) transformation.
Gas Station Love Story: Bob and Amber share a romantic evening at a convenience store while Amber’s eyes “burn from the inside out.”
Meth, Madness, and the Holy Van: A closer look at Bob’s fleet of “holy vehicles” and his questionable day job as a trucker.
The Tragic Glow-Up: A decade of decay — from bright-eyed Amber to the twitching shell she’s become.
In a World of Ambers, Be a Bob? Tim closes with a moral lesson that’s both bleak and hilarious: maybe don’t be either.
📺 Clips & References
Bob Hickman’s viral “God entered into my body” videos
Amber’s original Instagram account (archived)
Gas station footage of “Date Night with God”
“Amber’s Halloween Costume & Cat Delusion” episode
🧩 Closing Thoughts
Tim reflects on the downward spiral of both Bob and Amber — two internet fixtures that perfectly capture the madness, tragedy, and unintentional comedy of human dysfunction. In the distorted world of DV, sometimes the sermon writes itself.

Wikipedia Pedo Panic and the Auschwitz Halloween Parade Float Oopsie

On Today's Show:
Tim delivers a packed midweek show filled with vengeance, vile curses, AI abortions, and bowel emergencies. Sponsored by “Freeloading Fucktard,” today’s DV opens with a dramatic, Shakespearean-style monologue addressed to “Aaron,” a former friend who betrayed a fellow listener — ending with a literal shit curse. From there, the show spirals into the absurd with a remix of a teenage anti-abortion anthem, an unhinged trucker’s roadside bathroom emergency, a gun-wielding “good pedophile” storming a Wikipedia conference, and a Holocaust-themed Halloween float gone wrong in Pennsylvania.
💩 Segments and Highlights
Listener Vendetta: The Shit Curse of Aaron
A listener sponsor pays Tim to deliver a hate message to his backstabbing friend Aaron.
Tim transforms the short insult into an operatic, bowel-based monologue full of bile, fury, and fecal retribution.
“All your bowel evacuations will be liquidy, hot and burning… or hard and sharp as glass.”
Ends with the timeless sendoff: “Eat shit and die, bitch!”
🎶 Musical Madness: “Abortion” Gets an AI Makeover
Revisiting Your Cardboard Heart, a legendary Linda Finkel Hall of Fame entry for its 2000s-era anti-abortion anthem.
Tim feeds the song into AI to see if artificial intelligence can polish a Christian turd.
The AI reinterprets the lyrics as pro–illegal abortion — a radical new take.
Listener Danny Boy’s “coat hanger remix” steals the spotlight with grim humor and surprisingly catchy punk energy.
💻 Podcasting in Crisis
Tim laments the state of podcasting: “Every able-bodied American has one, even stroke victims slurring their way up the charts.”
Features a clip of preteen podcasters awkwardly discussing Ice Cube, Sydney Sweeney, and “fire” things.
The boys’ other viral clip—an anti-trans rap—reveals they’re likely mini right-wing grifters in training.
“Lil Rogan” might be the most accurate nickname ever coined on DV.
🚨 Police Poop Patrol
Real police bodycam footage: a semi-truck driver slurring his way through a traffic stop while repeatedly announcing he has to poop.
“You gotta poop?” “Yeah.” “Well, that’s gonna have to wait.” Spoiler: it didn’t.
The inevitable outcome arrives mid-arrest, just as he complains, “You’re pinching my cock and balls!”
Tim cheers the moment: “I’m ready for this guy to shit. He’s been hyping me up for the main event!”
🧠 WikiCon Interrupted by a ‘Non-Offending Pedophile’
A self-described “anti-contact pedophile” storms a Wikipedia conference in NYC with a handgun.
No one hurt; he’s quickly tackled.
His multicolored sign references “MAP” (Minor-Attracted Persons) pride colors.
Tim: “If you have to deal with a pedophile, I guess the non-offending kind is the best you can hope for.”
🎃 Holocaust Float ‘Oopsie’
Pennsylvania Halloween parade float includes Auschwitz-style “Work Makes You Free” gate.
Designer apologizes, claiming it was meant to symbolize “mortality.”
Tim, incredulous: “You wanted a somber message about death… so you used the goddamn Holocaust gate?”
Ends with an imagined Wesley Willis performance: “Rock and Roll Hebrew!”
📱 Listener Feedback & Text Line Drama
Dion Rifkin starts a feud with Blanche Dubois via the 4HAIRYCUNT text line.
Listeners clarify Tim’s pronunciation mistakes: “Cupkakke” (like bukkake) and “Mumdani,” not “Mumdami.”
One listener recalls a fart-obsessed teacher who would sniff students’ chairs to find the culprit — instantly earning a place in the DV Creeps Hall of Fame.
🔗 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow: Get exclusive episodes every week at DistortedView.com.
Patreon: patreon.com/distortedview — Pledge as little as $1.
Sponsor an Episode: $25 via PayPal to show@distortedview.com.
Text Line: 4HAIRYCUNT or 206-666-4463.

From Holocaust to Holla-Back: Anne Frank Gets The Attic Popping

On Today's Show:
00:00:00
Shop.GetGoodFeels.Com - 20% Off Your Order - PROMO CODE FREAK
00:10:12
Introduction
02:15:12
Sponsor: Satan's Porthole / Happy Birthday Special K!
04:09:20
Antifa Has Put A Hit Out On Meade Skelton
12:05:19
Upset Because She Isn't Wifey Material
16:13:17
Old White People Will Call ICE On Anyone They Don't Like
19:28:00
Protester Lays Out Grandma
24:05:14
Cupcakke Is Back With A Fisting Anthem
27:41:19
Good Feels THC Infused Seltzer! PROMO CODE FREAK
29:15:02
Support The Show! Become A Sideshow Freak
31:32:00
Anne Frank: Slam Poet / Rapper
37:33:04
Your Chance To Bid On A Solid Gold Toilet
42:42:19
Voicemails / Texts: 206-666-4463

Halloween Family Therapy With Satan

On Today's Show:
00:00:05
Introduction
00:24:02
Berry Popobawas!
02:05:24
Theme / Today's Sponsor
03:49:14
The Bat Winged Demon That Wants To Anally Violate You
07:39:12
A Visit From Satan!
09:44:13
The Latronda Brown Show - "Girl, Get You Some Family Therapy!"
18:35:07
Religious Nuttiness: Halloween Is Evil / Women Are Whores
22:22:08
Nosey Woman Sees Dick, Screams "Sexual Assault"
27:52:24
Support DV!
29:02:06
Feeding MILF Porn To Train AI
33:56:20
Who Else Has A Gay, Elvis, Chloroform Kink?
38:05:04
Voicemails/Texts: 206-666-4463 / Ending

A Four Alarm Booty Call!

00:00:00
Text DV: 442-479-2868 (4-HAIRYCUNT)
00:18:08
Introduction
01:47:24
Popper Sex / Emptying Your Bowels
06:34:19
Bizarre Sex Toys: Sticks Of Butter / Pencils / Furby's
10:18:10
Pro MAGA UFC fighter Turns His Back On Trump
16:01:03
A Fat Mermaid Plays Victim Under The Sea
20:23:05
Are Borax Enemas A good Idea? Answer: No
24:42:00
Support The Distortion
26:05:00
A Four Alarm Booty Call
29:57:23
To Kill A Coachroach, The Whole Neighborhood Must Also Fry
34:09:08
Voicemail/Text: 206-666-4463 / Ending