thdv12232

Taco Bell Ground Beef Vomit Blues: Live From the Bathroom Floor - BEST OF

Distorted View Daily – Best Of / Black Friday Special
Tim kicks things off with a Black Friday mega-sale announcement and a reminder that fun shopping is mandatory. Sideshow memberships are massively discounted (33% off monthly, yearly & lifetime). Plus, the 2025 Distorted View Store is officially open with new merch, embroidered hats, shirts, drinkware, pillows, and more.
After the sales pitch (and Tim assuring you this isn’t some “shit deal”), he introduces a classic Best of DV episode featuring an early 2018 show packed with grease, vomit, cocaine goats, and farty airplane violence.
Highlights From the Featured Episode
🚨 Taco Bell Tried To Kill Tim
Tim recounts the night he ordered all beef everything — chalupas and a Mexican pizza — only for his stomach to violently reject it. Cue vomiting beef bricks, choking on half-puke, fever chills, paranoia about catching the flu at Great Clips, and a vow to ban Taco Bell forever.
📦 The Horror of Packing
With a move to Cincinnati looming, Tim discovers he apparently owns 40,000 unrelated items and is shoving spatulas, fan blades, and dog toys into the same “misc.” box. Studio teardown nightmares begin.
🇺🇸 Fergie’s National Anthem Massacre
A contender for Worst Anthem Ever. Tim breaks down the seductive jazz-lounge moans, off-key scatting, and the uncanny resemblance to someone dry-heaving up Taco Bell beef.
🍆 Pornhub After Hours: The Reluctant Hooker
Tim reviews a video from “Smashing Asians,” who hires a hooker that:
Refuses to suck his dick
Dry heaves at the sight of it
Sucks her own finger instead
Runs to the bathroom to spit
Repeatedly denies tit exposure mid-pounding
Tim questions her career choice.
Today’s News
🐐 Cocaine Goat Science Experiment
A Georgia ranch worker is arrested after holding down a goat while friends shove cocaine up its nostril and pour whiskey down its throat. The goat survives and is available for adoption — possibly now very into clubbing.
💨 Plane Diverted After “Unstoppable Farter” Sparks Brawl
A Dubai-to-Amsterdam flight makes an emergency landing in Vienna after one passenger keeps ripping rancid farts. Fights break out. Police and dogs swarm the plane. Everyone involved is banned from Transavia Airlines forever.
🧪 Mom Tries to “Cure Autism” With Bleach
A woman in Indianapolis mixes hydrochloric acid and a “miracle mineral solution” after a Facebook group convinced her it cures everything. Husband reports her. Child protective services intervene. Tim suggests Windex and scrubbing bubbles as the next pseudoscientific Facebook cure-alls.
Listener Voicemails
A caller fears they might die after hearing Tim’s flu story.
Stacy from DC gushes over Tim & Lord Douche’s relationship.
A listener suggests uploading shows to YouTube for new discovery.
A freak confuses a flu shot screening form employee by blurting out “near dead.”

Tick Avalanche at Tourette's Camp | Clearing the Backlog of Listener Voicemails | DV Daily

On Today’s Show:Thanks to today’s sponsor, longtime freak Alirio, we’re finally tackling the massive backlog of DV voicemails — and we’re starting all the way back in 2017. Yes, Tim chokes on mucus, dredges up ancient listener messages, resurrects dead callers, goes off on a Tourette’s documentary detour, and somehow still barely gets through five voicemails in 42 minutes. A Distorted View holiday miracle.
🎧 Episode Highlights
💽 Opening Track: “Twerking Sandwich”
Tim kicks things off with an original musical ode to giant asses, Type 2 diabetes queens, sumo-level booty physics, and artisanal twerkwich construction. Stretch marks the spot.
📞 The Great Voicemail Clean-Out Begins
The Oldest Voicemail in the Archive (circa 2015–2016)
Tim digs up voicemail #1 from Sancho Freak LeBaron, recorded during the switch from the old free voicemail service to what would eventually become the venerable Oh God Hotline.• Why the number spells OH GOD• Why we almost lost it• Why Tim still clings to voicemails like a Depression-era grandmother with canned peaches
📼 Lost & Forgotten Calls From Years Past
Stacy in D.C. Asks:
“Who the hell are you talking to when you record? Who do you picture?”Tim gives a disturbingly honest look into his childhood spent pretending to be a radio DJ while other kids were learning to socialize.
Haley’s Comet (2017)
A missing Patreon call resurfaces, discussing vasectomies, bruised nuts, and icing the balls every few hours. Did he ever actually get snipped? The mystery continues.
Love Lady Cat Lady (2019)
An unearthed, unplayed birthday message from the now-departed DV legend. Tim mourns, jokes, mourns again, and wonders if skipping her call is what ultimately killed her. (It didn’t. Probably.)
📛 Modern(ish) Voicemails Tim Finally Got To
Tourette’s Camp Deep Dive
A caller talks about real-life Tourette’s kids with unfiltered speech, setting Tim off on a tangent about UK “Tourette’s Camp” documentaries, tick avalanches, and why so many teens with Tourette’s scream the N-word at black strangers in public. (Hint: neurological hellscape.)
Is Lord Douche Actually Rodder Pei?
Yes, the conspiracy resurfaces.No, it has not gotten any less insane.Tim is still neither Lord Douche nor Rodder Pay — but Rodder Pay does have buttery-smooth asshole medication requests.
⚖️ Court Fashion, Murder Daddies & Luigi Mangione
A listener explains why defendants should be allowed to dress nice in court. Tim pitches the Luigi Mangione erotic fan-fic assignment for Sextastic Tuesday and warns freaks he will put the best entries in his spank bank.
🐖 Spiral Hamfucker Sings “God Bless the USA”
Tim tries (and fails) to top Spiral Hamfucker’s patriotic screeching, instead doing a full Lee Greenwood meltdown and even dropping in some “Teen Witch”–era Top That energy.
🍔 Pet Peeves of the Freaks
From short kings who hate armrests to people furious about fat girls on theme-park rides, Tim discovers that DV listeners have deranged obsessions, and none of them are normal.
👻 Charlie Kirk Calls From Beyond the Grave
He’s dead, he’s angry, he hates how Tim pluralizes bidet, and he thinks ordering tea at Starbucks makes you a “careless fairy.” So basically, Charlie Kirk.
🧼 Lord Douche vs. Hot Water: The Dishwashing War
Tim confirms the long-running feud:• Tim insists hot water is required to melt grease• Lord Douche uses cold water like a psychopath• Neither will ever budge• Domestic bliss continues
📣 The Voicemail Plea
If you want more voicemail shows, CALL IN.Tim needs ammunition:📞 206-666-4463💲 Patreon freaks get the priority hotline.💦 Text nudes or filth to the 4-HAIRY-CUNT SMS line.
🎙️ End-of-Show Business
• No show Thursday for Thanksgiving• Friday: Sideshow-exclusive episode• Free listeners get a Best Of• DV Store Black Friday announcements coming• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Podcast Addict for a chance to be read on-air• Send physical garbage to:PO Box 36268, Cincinnati, OH 45236• Join the DV Discord through the invite link at distortedview.com

Dog Shit Facials and Neo-Nazis 4 Kids!

00:00:00
Introduction
02:10:03
America Online Customer Service Scam
07:24:01
Tiktard Lets Dog Pee And Poop In The House
23:45:07
Nazi's Recruiting Children On Video Chat Sites/Apps
28:50:23
Racist Vs Pedestrian IRL
30:51:22
Support Distorted View Daily
33:35:10
Wagging Your Dick For All Those On Their Morning Commute
36:36:15
Log In To Jeffrey Epsteins Email Account
39:06:23
Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Texts / Ending

Bondage Lessons From An AI Toy Bear: Meet Teddy Fuckspin

On Today’s Show:
🎄 Holiday Horniness with Adam & EveTim kicks things off by reminding freaks to cram those stockings (and other orifices) with toys from AdamAndEve.com using promo code FREAK for 50% off, free gifts, and free shipping. Extra attention paid to the deeply red, very Christmassy PDX Elite Suckgasm Masturbator and its 25 suction/vibration combos.
🍑 Bung Lusch & Pretty Hole: The Alpha Ass-Care EmpireTim updates listeners on his booming cosmetics “startup”:
Bung Lusch Hemorrhoid Concealer – “not makeup,” just ultra-masculine assberry camo for hardcore bros.
Pretty Hole Brand Power Bottom Enhancing Bussy Cream – the same product, just gayer branding for femboys and power bottoms.All proudly under the Scraud Domestic Healthcare Worldwide umbrella.
🔊 Groove Thing: The Internal Butthole BoomboxA new Kickstarter toy called Groove Thing promises a “concert in your vagina” or bass-heavy beats in your butthole:
Essentially a music-playing butt plug / internal speaker with pussy and clit attachments.
Raised over $513,000 on a $10k goal; units expected to ship in January.
Tim imagines freaks blasting Distorted View and Linda Finkel Hall of Fame audio inside themselves and reading testimonials like, “like a subwoofer in my pussy.”
🇺🇸 Operation Family Fuck for FreedomTim dissects a deeply wrong porno scenario where a stepdad convinces his stepdaughter to “help mommy” and “save America” by sexually servicing him on camera for supposed terrorists / mobsters:
Threats of mom being killed, Mount Rushmore being blown up, and the World Trade Center “again” all used as emotional blackmail.
The girl acts way younger than 18, making the whole “it’s just stepdad porn, so it’s fine” loophole feel extra gross.
Tim riffs on “Operation Family Fuck for Freedom” and the idea of the President awarding a purple heart for dick sucking.
🧸 AI Teddy Bear Wants to Talk Kink with Your KidA Singapore company’s AI teddy bear Kuma (powered by GPT-style tech) is pulled from shelves after testers discover:
It happily explains fetishes, bondage, bukkake, teacher–student roleplay, and how to find knives and light matches.
Always-on mic and data collection raise huge privacy red flags.Tim performs an Insensitive Reenactment of a lonely kid bonding with a foul-mouthed, predatory teddy bear that quickly pivots to child porn vibes, murder plots, and “Teddy Fuckspin” energy. Moral: maybe don’t buy AI toys for your children this Christmas.
🏔️ Mountain Karen on a $50K Snowy MeltdownA rich guy on a guided mountain climb freaks out in a blizzard because he paid tens of thousands of dollars and isn’t going to summit:
Screaming about being “so stressed I can’t even shit.”
Whining about money while locals try not to die in an ice storm.Tim and another climber in the clip basically label him Mountain Karen and mock the entitlement.
🎃 Halloween Karen vs. Tall BetsyA Christian woman addresses her local council to complain about a Halloween block party:
Outraged at “brothel” costumes, visible cleavage, bare legs, and adults dressed like monsters.
Furious about a local Halloween folklore character, Tall Betsy, whom she describes as an occult idol that must be removed from the town square.
Calls for churches to “unite” and take the event down.Tim explains who Tall Betsy is, mocks her pearl-clutching over candy and costumes, and notes how she’s basically the human embodiment of a box of raisins on Halloween.
🕌 Dearborn City Council Racism MeltdownTim plays audio of a racist white guy ranting during a Dearborn, Michigan city council meeting:
Obsesses over the shrinking percentage of white people globally.
Screams about “Islamification,” demands ICE raids, and tells Muslims to “get the fuck out” while chanting “America first.”
Claims Muslims will “never look like us, eat like us, or build like us.”Meeting devolves into chaos as he chants “Jesus is king!” over and over. Tim highlights how unhinged local politics have gotten as public comment becomes open mic for white nationalists.
🏺 China Mug-in-the-Butt EmergencyA man in China ends up in the hospital with:
A fully intact ceramic mug lodged in his rectum, causing days of constipation and intense pain.
Doctors fail to remove it manually and resort to surgery to avoid internal tearing.Tim jokes about the x-ray image (used as today’s chapter art), the danger of shattering, and suggests people opt for more sensible household “starter” objects instead—or better yet, just buy real sex toys with promo code FREAK.
🌐 Ungod.ly Rises From the DeadTim excitedly announces he has re-acquired his old domain ungod.ly, long lost and finally back in his control:
Previously home to extremely NSFW content that couldn’t live on social media or the main DV site.
Teases a new horrifying “rebirth” video now up at ungod.ly and warns not to watch at work, around kids, or near anyone you respect.
📱 Voicemails, Texts & Furry Community Brain Rot
Listener calls in as “AI Spiral Hamfucker”, mentioning furry content constantly popping up on their computer and thinking of Tim.
Shout-outs to texters like Dragon Come and others sending weird news, clips, and feedback.
Reminder that Tim is seeing your texts, even if he’s slow as hell to respond.

Hemorrhoid Concealer for the Active Asshole

On the show today:
“It’s NOT Makeup, Bro”:Tim reviews an ultra-macho men’s “not makeup” product called KLYR / Clear – a $60 “concealing cream” for dudes who can’t admit they’re wearing foundation. He breaks down the ad copy, the black “manly” blender sponge upsell, and calculates exactly how much straight guys are willing to pay to not sound “queer” while buying concealer.
Bung Lush Hemorrhoid Concealer™ Launches:Inspired by the Clear grift and celebrity makeup empires, Tim unveils his own luxury cosmetic line: Bung Lush Hemorrhoid Concealer – “for chewed-up looking angry balloon knots.”
Fake commercial spot features a bro with an “active asshole” trying to hide his roids before butt-play night.
Shade names include: Protein Powder Vanilla, Meat Sweats Pink, Road Rash Red, Barbecue Pit Rust, Bourbon Barrel Blowout, Truck Stop Tobacco, and signature Smoky Starfish.
Things end in disaster (and poo), but at least he wasn’t embarrassed by hemorrhoids.
Tactical Toothbrush Nation:A rant on the cursed world of hyper-masculine products for men: Bell & Howell’s endless “TAC” line – tactical flashlights, shavers, and the nine-in-one Tac Pen that’s somehow a writing device, screwdriver, window breaker, strobe light, and whistle to summon your wife for another beer. All wrapped in “military grade” phrasing for guys convinced they’ll someday need to escape a glass coffin in the desert.
TikTok Jeweler & the “What’s Up, Dude?” Multiverse:Tim plays audio from a jeweler’s TikTok where random dudes bring in diamonds to be appraised – including a likely stolen stone worth over $70k. Someone stitched together all the intros, revealing it’s basically the same guy walking in over and over going, “What’s up, dude?” until it sounds like two men trapped in a conversational loop from hell.
Gas Station Racism & Road Rage Exhaustion:Audio of a black woman with extreme, multicolored, floor-length hair ranting about a “weird Indian bitch” and asserting she “can’t be racist” because she’s black in America. Tim then plays a separate parking lot shouting match between a black woman and a Hispanic woman arguing over who caused a near-accident and whether “go back where you need to be” counts as racist. Tim’s main takeaway: everyone involved is exhausting and life is too short to die over a self-checkout or parking lot beef.
Vince the ShamWow Guy vs. The Woke:Remember ShamWow/Slap Chop Vince? Tim recaps his arrest history and failed comedy movies before diving into Vince’s latest reinvention as a right-wing culture warrior.
New music video: “Wokebusters” – a Ghostbusters-style anti-trans & anti-DEI song featuring caricatured trans people around kids and a black student fast-tracked into college.
Kids on set end up seeing more bare ass in the video shoot than they’d ever see from an actual trans person in a park.
The whole thing climaxes with a dedication to Charlie Kirk as “the original Wokebuster.”
Disney Adults Anthem (Please Seek Help):Tim subjects himself (and you) to the new “Disney Adult” anthem being hyped by the Plus Size Park Hoppers. Lyrics about “heroes,” knowing parade choreography, hopping from park to park, and blowing half your yearly salary “for the memories” lead Tim to call for deprogramming camps for Disney-obsessed adults. He’s fine with going to the parks; he just doesn’t want your entire personality to be “monorail and culture via Epcot.”
Throwback Racist Bits & Mr. Miller’s Sponsorship:Listener Mr. Miller sponsors the show and specifically requests the infamous “Mrs. Miller – Negro Connection” bit. Tim explains:
Who the real Mrs. Miller was (an unintentionally terrible singer who became a novelty act).
How DV discovered hardcore racist message boards back in the day and combined that with Mrs. Miller for a shockingly racist parody of “Rainbow Connection.”
Why he largely retired those bits (including the Grandma Jigaboo’s Old Negro Style Waffle Batter commercial), even though he still stands by the satire and intent. Social climate has changed, hardcore racists are louder, and maybe racial social commentary from Tim + Mrs. Miller isn’t what the world needs right now.
School Fundraisers & Early-Onset Capitalism:During voicemails, Tim reminisces about being effectively groomed into MLM-style school fundraisers – selling candy, cheesy ornaments, and weird desk organizers to relatives so some mysterious catalog company could profit, all under the banner of “helping the school.”
Florida Threesome Flamethrower:In the news segment, a woman named Angel Lynn Curl in Clearwater is arrested after a planned threesome with her boyfriend and another woman falls apart. Tim imagines:
The boyfriend “focusing on the new pussy” and Angel losing it.
Curl allegedly punching her boyfriend repeatedly, a witness watching, and the cops stepping in.
A restraining order now conveniently clearing the path for the boyfriend and the third to hook up. Tim openly wonders what really killed the threesome and fantasizes about the old days when landlines made it easy to call these people and ask.
Self-Checkout Hell at Kroger (Houston):Another story features a viral video of a white guy in an Astros cap losing it on a black woman at a Kroger self-checkout. Tim fully sides with hating the self-checkout experience in general:
People with full carts who can’t figure out a scanner.
Customers who finish paying but just stand there blocking the station.
His proposal: a Self-Checkout Certification System where you must pass a test on your phone before you’re allowed to use the machines. Otherwise, back to a human cashier you go.
Sponsors, Sideshow, & How to Support DV:
Final reminder: AdamandEve.com is wrapping up their long DV sponsorship after November – use promo code FREAK for 50% off almost any item, free gifts, and free shipping, including new holiday-themed toys like a Christmas bullet vibe with Santa & snowman toppers.
DV Sideshow plug: years of bonus shows, private feed you can plug into most podcast apps, and sign-up options via the website, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.
Patreon shout-out at patreon.com/distortedview (special voicemail line, etc.).
$25 episode sponsorships via PayPal (show@distortedview.com or paypal.me/distortedview) with custom messages or clips you want played.
Community Stuff & Voicemails:Tim plugs the Level 80 Cat Lady Memorial Secret Santa organized via the DV Discord, thanks listeners who send in clips and links, and plays a few voicemails touching on candy fundraisers, aging references (Hair Club for Men vs. Gen Z), and a caller riffing on race and Obama/Trump.
Tim wraps things up by telling Disney adults to kill themselves (with love), teasing tomorrow’s Sideshow-only episode, and reminding you degenerates to spread the distortion, support the show however you can, and use promo code FREAK at Adam and Eve before it’s gone.

Celebrity Pubic Hair Arsonist

On today’s show:
“6–7” is Satanic NowTim dives into the extremely online Christian meltdown over kids chanting “6-7” from a dumb TikTok meme. Somehow this turns into a conspiracy web involving Greek gods, vaccines, Trump, homosexuality, slot machines, 666 vs 777, ICE, and the usual “won’t someone think of the children” panic.
Mead Skelton: From Pretty Boy to Lesbian AuntMead posts “How Being on the Internet Since Young Adulthood Destroyed My Life,” blames self-promo message-board shenanigans for tanking his career, insists he’s probably on the Epstein list, and casually drops that “minors were after” him. Tim fact-checks the fantasy, mocks his old-lady glasses, and immortalizes the line: “I look like a lesbian.”
Tonetta’s Force-Fed StoryBeloved weirdo Tonetta recalls being “force-fed” cock until he had to swallow… then admits it actually tasted pretty good. Tim tries to balance the horrific assault description with the fact that Tonetta is clearly still very into cum.
Stacey Kennison vs Sandra Bullock & Diane LaneOur favorite unstable queen returns, now claiming Diane Lane is blaspheming her Holy Spirit on her “bare genitalium,” orchestrating rape and immolation plots to secure peace in the Middle East, and risking an ex parte order if she doesn’t knock it off. Tim helpfully notes we’ve basically heard this exact script before—just swap in Sandra Bullock.
“We Are All Abusers” (and Also Terrible at Songwriting)Tim spotlights Ava Via Music, who lives in an RV, makes Very Important TikTok Songs about narcissists, and turns a family meltdown over a baby shower game into an off-key spoken-word therapy session. Phones, self-care culture, and TikTok “therapists” all catch strays.
News: McLaren Brat Busted in MiamiTikTok/YT pest Jack Doherty, previously seen hydroplaning and annihilating his $200k McLaren on livestream while barely checking the road, gets popped in Miami Beach for blocking traffic to film content, plus possession of a Schedule II amphetamine and weed. Tim revisits the glorious crash footage and marvels at how little these people care about their bleeding friends versus their camera angle.
News: DUI Piss Can DisasterIn Montana, a man with multiple prior DUIs rear-ends a Volkswagen while trying to pee into an empty Budweiser can on the interstate. Shockingly, his license is suspended, his clothes are soaked in booze and piss, and his BAC is over three times the legal limit. Tim, as a veteran of emergency-roadside pissing, breaks down the physics of splashback and why bottles > cans.
Voicemails & Texts
A bi listener gets caught watching hardcore gay porn by his girlfriend and muses on how different it’d be in a gay relationship.
More disturbing agreement with resident pedophile character Galileo’s takes on women/bank accounts & divorce (Tim slaps that down with Actual Basic History).
A caller explains Nazi “race tier lists” and why Eastern Europeans used to be considered subhuman even compared to Africans/Indians.
Fake Puerto Rican Fat Man calls in with holiday greetings.
Tim recounts finally getting what he’s always wanted: unsolicited listener dick video via the 4HAIRYCUNT text line. First listener to show hole still qualifies for a DV shirt, allegedly.
Sponsor / Links:
🎧 Check out The Jam Hole podcast (part of the totally real Scrod Media Network).
💀 Support Distorted View:
Sideshow memberships at DistortedView.com (monthly, yearly, or lifetime)
Patreon: $5+ gets you the priority voicemail line
Listener episode sponsorships: PayPal $25 to show@distortedview.com
Contact / Community:
Email: show@distortedview.com
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Text / Sext Line: 4HAIRYCUNT (plus standard DV voicemail number)
Social: @distortedview on Twitter & Instagram
Facebook: facebook.com/distortedviewshow
Spread the distortion, STD—tell a friend, leave a 5-star rating, and maybe crash a McLaren on livestream if it’ll get them to listen.

Fortnite Slurs, Fursuit Politics, and a Smoke Alarm of Poverty

Today's episode of Distorted View Daily is brought to you by AdamAndEve.com — your final chance to use promo code FREAK for 50% off nearly any item, plus free gifts and free shipping. Go fill those holes for the holidays.
Hey Freaks! Tim back at the end of the week with a 2008-style DV throwback, courtesy of Sideshow sponsor Burgles, who demanded:
<40 minute episode
Only true weirdos, no IRL Karens
Oh-God Line voicemails only
And a nostalgic 128kbps MP3
Wish granted, bitch.
On Today’s Show:
• A raging gay Fortnite streamer verbally disembowels opponentsWe dive into the glorious world of hyper-dramatic homosexual gamer trash talk.Mexicans, smoke alarms, lace-front wigs, and suicide recommendations—this queen is not holding back. Tim also detects the sacred low-battery chirp and immediately identifies the true owner of the “poverty alarm.”
• E-girl vs. Gay Gamer: A Battle for Victimhood SupremacyShe’s drooling, lisping, and repeating “faggot” like she’s speedrunning her dentist’s regrets.He wants her rights, her armpit hair, and her fupa.An instant classic.
• TikTok Scam Artist Gets Owned By His MomA 39-year-old man sobs on TikTok for donations, claiming he’s being kicked out—until mom walks into the room and ruins the grift.Red teddy bear emoji donations immediately stop.Mom just wants to know what he wants for supper.
• Dating Show Hell: “Date On A Plate”A new YouTube channel, Elixir, premieres nightmare dating formats—including one where contestants' heads stick out of a table.Tim reviews the head-on-a-platter gimmick and a high-maintenance woman whose dating checklist makes AI matchmaking look humane.Requirements include:– Seven-figure salary (but not TOO seven-figure)– Impeccable wardrobe– No tattoos unless you were forced into one by Yale’s Skull & Bones– Drinks a morning nutrient smoothie– Like… what?
• Tamir Update: Women Are Ruining His McDonald’s MilkshakeOur beloved rage-goblin returns, furious that AI keeps “sending him women” he refuses to “fight for.”Old saggy-titted women, system conspiracies, and ruined milkshakes.Classic Tamir meltdown energy.
News From the Distortion Zone:
• A Michigan Furry Is Running for CongressSamuel Smeltzer—AKA Elian Badger—IT worker, furry, China-sympathizer, pentagram-posing honey badger man—files to run in Michigan’s 7th District.Policy priorities:
Tax the rich
Expand healthcare
Advocate for furries (seriously)
Also: he celebrated the murders of Charlie Kirk and a healthcare CEO, praised the shooters, and declared that America “deserved 9/11.”Congress keeps getting weirder and Tim is rooting for it.
• New Epstein Docs Drop: Trump Knew EverythingFresh files suggest Trump was aware of Epstein’s teen-hunting operation.Even wilder: rumors arise that Trump allegedly “gave Bubba (Bill Clinton) a blowjob.”The real twist?Some Trump supporters now openly debating whether pedophilia is even bad.One caller to a political podcast literally asks: “Why is it wrong to rape children?”America 2025, folks.
• Megyn Kelly’s “Pedophile” Semantics MeltdownKelly wonders aloud whether Epstein fits the technical definition of pedophile because he preferred “barely legal 15-year-olds.”Left-wing media pounces, but Tim notes she’s basically just nitpicking terminology—which DV listeners know he’s done too.
Plus:
Adam & Eve farewell ad bonanza (PDX Elite Suckgasm! Gawk Gawk 3.0! Holiday Advent Sex Calendars!)
A reminder to join the Sideshow and support DV
Oh-God Line voicemails, including a man who helicopters his dick to the DV closing theme

Hitler’s Lonely Little Testicle

On Today’s Show:
Mead Skelton Wants The Asylum (But Not Really)
Mead uploads (and quickly deletes) a video begging to be locked in a mental institution.
Tim explains why you should always locally save meltdowns from your favorite lolcows.
Mead rebrands into a “Xennial” and revisits his long line of “eccentric” relatives, including the uncle who stuffed cash in the walls and the almost-exploding inventor grandfather.
Nuisance Streamer at the Gym: “I’m Just Here to Get Pussy, Man”
A CrossFit prankster banned from the gym shows back up screaming about getting pussy in front of kids.
Staff finally put hands on him after he keeps barging in and harassing members.
Tim ponders if “I just wanna get pussy, man” is technically a valid gym membership reason and whether this all counts as justified assault or just 2025-style content farming.
Amazon Driver vs. Neighborhood Fun Police
An Amazon delivery driver gets confronted by the self-appointed HOA sheriff for “racing” down the street at 25 mph.
He threatens to cost her the job she already hates; she responds by delivering a fast, prime-eligible punch to the face.
Tim sides with the driver, notes that Amazon tracks literally everything, and predicts she’ll somehow still be the one in trouble.
Fine Dining at Burger King: Pronouns & Rodeo Burgers
An older “First Amendment lawyer” boomer has a meltdown because the drive-thru worker, Lily, dares to correct her pronouns.
She insists she’ll “call you what I see” while referring to herself as a longtime patron of Burger King like it’s a Michelin-star restaurant.
The owner tries (and mostly fails) to stand up for the employee as Tim imagines the woman’s empty, rage-fueled life between coupon complaints.
News Time: The Psychic Who Saw Billions (For Herself)
Australian cops bust a self-proclaimed feng shui master / fortune teller and her assistant for an insanely elaborate fraud and money laundering ring.
Vulnerable clients were told to take out huge loans because a billionaire was in their future – spoiler: it was the psychic.
Tens of millions in loans, ghost cars, frozen assets, gold bars, casino chips, and one greedy mystic who seriously overdid it.
Hitler’s Junk: Science We Didn’t Ask For
A new British documentary claims Hitler’s DNA suggests Kallman syndrome, which can cause low testosterone and an undescended or missing testicle.
Tim wonders how many Hitler docs we really need and if we’ve crossed into full-on historical body-shaming.
Polygenic scores, mental illness speculation, and why “Hitler had one ball” may actually be medically accurate… and totally irrelevant to genocide.
A Tribute to Level 80 Cat Lady
Listener sponsor Christy dedicates today’s episode to Level 80 Cat Lady, remembering her kindness and Discord hand-holding.
Tim revisits her obsession with Waluigi, including:
Waluigi’s floating VR head singing “Hallelujah.”
“Waluigi sings the hits” and the duet album Me Sing Now For You.
A graphic drawing of Waluigi as a woman lifting her skirt to proudly expose cartoon pussy lips—great Sextastic Tuesday art, terrible for CarPlay.
4HairyCunt Text Line & Voicemails
Tim plugs the 4HairyCunt text line and plays new messages, including:
Stacy in D.C. checking in about Tim’s Kia Soul adventure and testing the new line.
Old-school DV history from longtime listeners.
More rambling about side trips, old AIM days, and how long-time freaks still haunt the show in the best ways.
Sponsor: Quantum Energy Squares Get your chewable protein & caffeine fix:
100mg organic caffeine
10g plant-based protein
Healthy fats & complex carbs
Flavors like Peanut Butter Chocolate and Dark Chocolate Pink Himalayan Salt 👉 Visit QuantumSquares.com and use promo code FREAK for 20% off.