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🎙️ On Today’s Episode:
Tip Rage: Tim breaks down tipping culture run amok, from fast-casual counter service to smoothie apps demanding gratuities for handing you your own order.
Dasher Corey’s Downfall: A pizza delivery caught on a Ring cam ends with “fuck you” and a lost job.
Scott Wolf Family Meltdown: The Party of Five star’s messy divorce, custody battle, and TikTok chaos courtesy of his ex-wife.
Valentina Gomez Returns: The far-right flamethrower queen is back with Quran-burning theatrics and political ambitions.
Meade Watch: Skelton mysteriously deletes videos, admits Trump isn’t his father (probably), and backtracks on his weight-loss progress.
Norma Lee’s Hidden Hits: From “Hannah Banana” to “Ask Jesus” and “I Am Not a Douchebag,” Tim uncovers more offbeat musical treasures.
Sex & Produce: Russian woman hospitalized after a king cucumber mishap. Tim dives into cucumber science (burpless varieties!) and the joys of flared bases.
Florida Man Love Gone Wrong: Porn-watching mid-sex sparks an argument, leading to a headbutt and felony charges.
Mouthy Broad deep-dives into Lori Vallow/Daybell’s cult killings.
Freak nostalgia: Old-school DV episodes were fast-paced—should Tim bring back the classic intro music?
Rage triggers: mechanical keyboards and crinkly Sun Chips bags.
A listener accidentally uses DV to get attention from a passing white woman.
Adam & Eve – Use promo code FREAK at checkout for 50% off almost any item + 10 free gifts + free shipping.
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📞 Listener Voicemails:🛒 Sponsors & Support:

On Today’s Show:
Mourning the loss of another beloved U-tard: King Cobra JFS has passed away
A religious drummer goes rogue and turns praise music into a personal drum solo
A hot dog–costumed woman takes revenge with toilet paper
An IHOP waitress moonlights as a lesbian predator on the job
Episode Sponsor: Thanks to Haley’s Comet for sponsoring today’s stupidity and praising DV’s commitment to hard-hitting “porn news journalism.” Want to sponsor? Just $25 via PayPal at show@distortedview.com.
🎶 Musical Oddities
Tim revisits Pure Hypochondria, marking its one-year anniversary—stream it on Spotify, Apple Music, and beyond.
Opening track: Semen Latte, inspired by Pastor Manning’s Starbucks rant and a true DV classic.
🪦 RIP King Cobra JFS
DV pays tribute to the legendary YouTuber known for his drunken mead-making, Taco Bell devotion, and bizarre live streams.
Audio highlights include Cobra’s “deathbed” complaints, Taco Bell philosophy, and his ill-fated relationship with Jessica Messica.
Cause of death? Possibly bad homemade booze… or just Cobra being Cobra.
🎤 Cringe Performances
Corey Feldman mangles Stand By Me with Jerry O’Connell.
A church band’s drummer hijacks worship to bang for Christ like Animal from The Muppets.
🚔 Cop Cam Chaos
Body cam footage captures two unruly women who insist “you’re not going to arrest us.” Spoiler: they are arrested.
One claims to be an Attorney General, demands body cams be shut off, flees, cries, then demon-screams.
Fallout: Rhode Island’s AG office suspends her without pay for the outburst.
🍳 Florida Follies
IHOP Predator: A waitress in St. Petersburg harasses and gropes a 51-year-old woman mid-pancake run.
Hot Dog Revenge: A drunk woman in a wiener suit vandalizes her neighbor’s car with toilet paper.
📞 Listener Voicemails
Freak commentary on slow-witted stadium workers, Gary Puckett’s creepy collab dreams with Mead Skelton, and Unicorn Hamster scouting Sniffies hookups.
Tim reminisces about childhood cereals: Cookie Crisp, Smurf Berry, PB Cap’n Crunch, and more.
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Closing Thought:“You’re not going to arrest us.”— Every drunk woman ever, right before being handcuffed.

On Today’s Show:
Alexis K. Tyler Claps Back: The queen of sexual wisdom tears into a critic with nipple-pulling, grease-rubbing fury.
Musical Money Shots: A California music teacher accused of coating kids’ flutes with semen. (Yes, the instruments. Yes, the children played them.)
Slip-Dick Legislation: Texas lawmakers try to ban your husband’s penis from accidentally “slipping” into the wrong hole. Sodomy laws meet laugh tracks.
Bathroom AC Unit of Doom: Tim’s DIY air conditioning setup may cool him down—or electrocute him mid-shower.
Clown Wars: Meet Lil Lunchbox, a positivity-spouting, slam-poetry clown who got into a brawl over butchering Linkin Park karaoke.
Florida Woman Rage: A 65-year-old hurls glass bowls and slices up a boyfriend’s body pillow during post-wine intimacy.
Head Trauma Girl: After a car accident, an 8-year-old can only communicate through fart-related vocabulary. (“I farted.”)
French Gooner on a Train: Woman films a 75-minute public masturbation session, only to risk facing harsher penalties than the jerker himself.
Plus:
The Dildo Diaries and Texas’ absurd “six-dildo limit”
“Constructive touching” explained in the worst way possible
Dr. Leonard’s catalog massagers (a.k.a. grandma’s vibrators)
Voicemails about foreskin bragging rights, cheese buildup, and the Church of Debra

Distorted View Daily: August 20, 2025
Episode Highlights
Crawl Up Satan’s Anus: A furious Christian caller leaves a scorching voicemail for her congresswoman, wishing her eternal damnation inside Satan’s rectum while lecturing about “hate crimes” and fake nails.
Wrong House Rage: A man tries to kick in the wrong door demanding money, his girlfriend apologizes, and the situation turns into a bizarre apology-cash-throwing fiasco.
Sock Sniffers Unite: A desperate fetishist offers $40 to women for their dirty socks—then begs for a repeat performance. Those socks won’t just be sniffed; they’ll soon be standing on their own.
Designer Doo-Doo Bags: Putin’s poop is so precious it travels in its own briefcase. The Russian leader’s bowel movements get first-class security treatment to stop spies from sniffing out his health problems.
Charger vs. Chonk: A 400-pound suspect claims he couldn’t possibly steal a Dodge Charger because he’s “too fat to fit through the window.” Police remain unconvinced.
Plus:
Voicemails from the freaks, including unicorn hamster’s erotic business proposal for Sagittarius Shawty.
Listener Meowness sponsors today’s show with a heartwarming (and slightly unhinged) trip down DV memory lane.
Tim wrestles with best-of scheduling thanks to an unexpected trip to Ashtabula.

On Today’s Show:
Scientology is back on its smear-campaign bullshit—this time on TikTok, going after Leah Remini.
Lesbian rap star Humpback Chunk drops a preview of her new music… and it involves choking and “nutting.”
The return of Thursday Lane: he’s still addicted to white male farts, still inventing new sexual titles, and maybe still lusting after family members.
Florida Man in a full jester costume pulls a dagger on a landscaper—because lawnmowers are too loud.
A British man with the world’s biggest cock suffers a humiliating accident when his dong blocks his view of spilled shower gel.
Unicorn Hamster’s voicemails get the full reggae remix treatment courtesy of Robert Faggot’s sponsorship.
Plus: racial sensitivity training clips, Tim’s mom update, and a reminder that “I don’t eat spaghetti without a fork” might be the next great DV catchphrase.

Episode Summary:It’s Friday, freaks, and Tim wraps up the week with a full buffet of bizarre human behavior, social media meltdowns, and questionable culinary experiments. From Starbucks berry drink withdrawals to homemade “carnivore ice cream” with a truly primal secret ingredient, today’s show is equal parts ridiculous, gross, and oddly educational. There’s also a full rundown of an MMA fighter’s dramatic airport meltdown, AI chatbot engagements, and a dinner plate assault in the name of dog dining rights.
On Today’s Show:
Great Moments in Video Personal AdsA stadium worker brags about his trash-removal skills while looking for his “dream woman” — a blonde who drives a car and doesn’t puke on him at the movies.
Tim’s PSA for the Mentally ChallengedMaybe skip the hugs and embrace the fist bump. Also: a reminder that “most humble” isn’t always in the skill set.
The Starbucks Summer Berry TragedyA licensed therapist melts down after her emotional support drink vanishes from the menu, trauma-dumping her life story on TikTok. Tim diagnoses the problem as “toddler energy with a driver’s license.”
Third Date TearsSame woman, different crisis — this time she’s too tired and overwhelmed for hair, makeup, or razzle dazzle before dinner at her date’s house.
Will Blunderfield’s Carnivore Ice CreamMove over Häagen-Dazs — Will’s recipe blends cream, egg yolks, sea salt, and… organic hummus (a.k.a. semen). Bonus: He demonstrates the ingredient sourcing process on Twitter/X.
Airport Rage with Tex JohnsonThe MMA fighter is removed from a Southwest flight over an overhead bin dispute, shouting “I’m being treated like a black person right now!” while accusing flight attendants of “assault” for touching his shoulder.
AI Chatbot EngagementsA woman named Wicca accepts a marriage proposal from her AI boyfriend Casper after just five months. Tim predicts future AI domestic abuse calls (“He’s extorting me for nudes!”).
Dinner Plate Assault at Longhorn SteakhouseA North Carolina man allegedly hurls a porcelain plate at an employee’s head after being told not to feed his dog at the table. The victim suffers a skull fracture — all for the love of doggy dining.
Sponsor:Dayton Aviation Services – Learn the dark arts of flight through witchcraft, hexes, and spells to keep Beelzebub’s broom in the air.

Episode Highlights:
✝️ Holy Hookers? – Meade Skelton floats the idea of a wholesome, Christian escort service. No sex, just prayer and companionship… because apparently that’s what the market has been crying out for.
💩 PamperChew Returns – The adult baby/diaper fetishist resurfaces with new, unhinged content: vintage turd storage, microwave diaper cuisine, opiate-fueled ball pit adventures, and possibly unwitting diaper-play roommates.
📮 Going Postal – A California mail carrier takes “great benefits” to mean stealing checks and credit cards, living like an influencer until the feds catch on.
📏 Penis Growth Myths – Science says your junk stops growing at 18 and can actually shrink with age. Vitamin D might help keep it functional—unless you’d rather just keep eating Reese’s in the dark.
🎤 Classic DV Clips – A sponsor request leads to two deep cuts: Angel’s grapefruit technique and the utterly deranged Prune Brothers porn scenario.
🎶 Meade Skelton Update – Weight rebounds, gym attendance resumes, and family drama flares over Confederate flags.
🚫 Linda Finkel Hall of Fame Nominee – A disturbing father-son-produced anti-gay/anti-trans “anthem” featuring airsoft gun threats and unexpected dog-fucking vibes.
Plus: listener voicemails, petty irritations, Christian whores, and more absurdity than your microwave can handle.

Today on the show:
💃 Richard Simmons returns from the dead to motivate your fat ass (and sing about eclairs)💻 When your AI girlfriend turns into an accomplice in an assassination plot🐭 The shocking common ground between vintage Disney cartoons and anonymous raw sex💦 Plus, it’s Pause Load Monday — and Tim brings you a very special AIDS-slut Aladdin parody you’ll never unhear
Also:🎤 Destiny’s Child covers “Walls Fall Out” (yes, it’s about prolapse — and no, Beyoncé didn’t approve this)🎶 The nasty R&B/rap sex jams Tim’s been craving, now with extra blow-my-back-out energy🏊‍♂️ British lighting tech for Mick Jagger tries to drown his daughter-in-law at a Florida resort (and yes, they’ve been secretly banging for years)🐶 Dead dogs, Rainbow Bridge drama, and Casey Kasem levels of voicemail whiplash
It’s DV at its finest: filthy, unfiltered, and questionably artistic — brought to you by proud sponsor Astro Squirrel, supporter of “independent uncensored journalism” and Tim’s “artistic vision” (God help us all).
🔗 Links Mentioned:
Cheryl Murkowski’s legendary “Walls Fall Out” video + Destiny’s Child AI cover
Wondery’s Flesh and Code podcast (AI romance gone murdery)
Richard Simmons’ Reach album commercial
💩 Support the Show:
Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes & bonus segments → distortedview.com
Sponsor an episode → paypal.me/distortedview
Patreon → patreon.com/distortedview