The Youthful Glow And Smooth Skin Of A Virgin Incel

✨ Today on the Show:

• 🕊️ Tongues and Tiaras: Religious zealots let their tongues wag for Jesus, and Tim breaks down just how unbiblical their babble really is (with scripture receipts).

• 📺 Pride Month Throwback: Re-exploring the glory of Trading Spouses' infamous God Warrior meltdown. Dork-sided? More like icon-status.

• 👓 Pastor or Power Lesbian?: An aggressive holy roller channels both divine prophecy and vintage Ellen Degeneres vibes.

• 🧠 TikTok Takes Another Life: A 19-year-old’s tragic death from the “dusting” challenge proves viral fame still ain’t worth brain death.

• 🧴 Real ID or Real Dumb?: Some morons are trying to fly with Costco cards because they saw a star on them. TSA isn't amused.

• 🎙️ Mead Skelton’s Secret to Youth: Mead blames his baby face on virginity. Also: he might actually be gay, hates Harriet Tubman, and still lives with his dad. So, you know, thriving.

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🏳️‍🌈 Pride Month DV Style:

• Terrible gay/lesbian artists

• Pastors melting down

• Neo-pronoun panic

• Spiritual warfare cosplay

• Bible-quoting and bullshit calling

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🧃 Bonus Rants:

• Tim reflects on his willingness to give the government his soul if it means avoiding long DMV lines.

• PSA: Being a Kroger Rewards member will NOT get you through airport security.

• The Real ID is real now… probably. Maybe. Tim still doesn’t really get it.

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☎️ Listener Voicemails:

• 📞 Unicorn Hamster sets polyamory ground rules (no fit guys, no Black dudes, only T-shirts and comrags).

• 📞 Listeners critique Tim’s 2-foot hot dog binge and debate the value of a Lifetime membership.

• 📞 Tim pleads for voicemails so he can pad out episodes and be lazy with pride.

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🎧 Sideshow Plug:
Want more bonus episodes, mini-shows, and virgin warrior mockery? Go to distortedview.com and sign up for the Sideshow! Cheap as hell, and way more satisfying than chroming.

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📬 Email: show@distortedview.com
📞 Voicemail: 206-666-4463
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