Taking A Craw Up Satan's Anus

Distorted View Daily: August 20, 2025

Episode Highlights

• Crawl Up Satan’s Anus: A furious Christian caller leaves a scorching voicemail for her congresswoman, wishing her eternal damnation inside Satan’s rectum while lecturing about “hate crimes” and fake nails.

• Wrong House Rage: A man tries to kick in the wrong door demanding money, his girlfriend apologizes, and the situation turns into a bizarre apology-cash-throwing fiasco.

• Sock Sniffers Unite: A desperate fetishist offers $40 to women for their dirty socks—then begs for a repeat performance. Those socks won’t just be sniffed; they’ll soon be standing on their own.

• Designer Doo-Doo Bags: Putin’s poop is so precious it travels in its own briefcase. The Russian leader’s bowel movements get first-class security treatment to stop spies from sniffing out his health problems.

• Charger vs. Chonk: A 400-pound suspect claims he couldn’t possibly steal a Dodge Charger because he’s “too fat to fit through the window.” Police remain unconvinced.

Plus:

• Voicemails from the freaks, including unicorn hamster’s erotic business proposal for Sagittarius Shawty.

• Listener Meowness sponsors today’s show with a heartwarming (and slightly unhinged) trip down DV memory lane.

• Tim wrestles with best-of scheduling thanks to an unexpected trip to Ashtabula.