Is It Time To Start Panic Buy Dildos?

On Today’s Show:

It’s a jam-packed Friday freakout featuring haunted abortions, ghost grandkids, pervy American men in Ukraine, and the eternal struggle of pre-ordering a Nintendo Switch 2 without losing your mind—or your place in the checkout queue.

• 🎮 Switch 2 Rage – Tim details his traumatizing experience trying to preorder Nintendo’s latest console. If you’ve ever sweat through a shirt just trying to give a company your money, you’ll relate.

• 👻 Alexis K. Tyler Sees Dead Grandbabies – A fetus ghost starts dancing in her room, and somehow this isn’t even the weirdest part of the stream featuring her son, De Niro Red.

• 💔 Don’t Dictate My Dick – De Niro Red delivers hard truths about toxic relationships, ghost babies, and bitches be trippin’.

• 🧒 Toddlers & Ashes – A one-year-old boy snacks on Grandpa’s remains. Because why not?

• 💩 Eco-Retreat Gone to Shit – An environmentally-conscious couple flees Sweden, leaving behind unpaid taxes, 158 barrels of human waste, and dead ducks.

• 🇺🇦 Creepy Love Tourism – American men fly to Ukraine looking for love (and youth). Tim highlights a standout contender for “Most Likely to End Up on a Watch List.”

• 🍆 Tariff Panic – With Chinese sex toy imports threatened by massive tariffs, it might be time to hoard those dildos. Tim breaks it all down—and offers a discount code, of course.

• 🎶 Virginity Parody Anthems – “Willing to Wait,” a horrifying abstinence anthem set to “Old Town Road.” Plus, Tim resurrects his own filthy banger, “Cherabra Venti.”

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Listener Voicemails:

• 🧱 LEGO pieces in the nose, memories of childhood stupidity, and almost dying from a throat lozenge.

• 🏍️ Lorenzo Lamas BBQ sightings in Ohio—yep, really.

• 🧑‍💻 A heartfelt plea: help Tim get Distorted View back on Wikipedia!

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Featured Phrases of the Day:

• “Don’t dictate my dick.”

• “Ghost fetus dancing like a toddler.”

• “Soup is the quickest way into my pants.”

• “Fuck my tits, fuck my mouth, when I gag just point it south.”

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Promo Code Reminder:
🌶️ Get 50% off at AdamAndEve.com with code FREAK – before tariffs make pleasure unaffordable.