Invest Your Money In Bleached Asshole Futures

On Today's Show:

• 🎤 DV proudly presents: A Deaf Guy Singing Iron Maiden!
  You may not understand the lyrics, but the passion is unmistakable.

• 🎮 Livestreamer Showdowns!
  Angry dads vs. bratty sons.
  Moms threatening eviction, dads accusing their kids of being whores or Satanists.
  One father delivers a devastating line: “Not my fault you can’t come up with any content, so you just bury yourself.”
  Savage, dad. Savage.

• 💁‍♀️ Titty Streamer Trauma:
  When your cleavage gets more views than your gameplay, but your dad’s just not having it. “I don’t want to see my daughter’s side vag on Twitch!”

• 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 Gay Hispanic Uber Riders vs. Chill Black Driver:
  “I just wanted to hear music!”
  Cops were called. Racism was alleged. Trump was name-dropped.
  All because NPR was playing instead of Pitbull. 🙄

• 🧼 Asshole Bleaching vs. Hitler Comparison (Florida Politics Edition):
  One city commissioner accused of monetizing her bleached b-hole fires back by comparing the mayor to Hitler.
  Shouting match ensues. Jews get involved. Meetings adjourned.
  (Also, can you really profit off a bleached anus? Asking for a friend.)

• 🪓 Meth, Ghosts, and Ax Attacks (Louisiana):
  A man claims he was axed in the head.
  No wounds, but plenty of meth.
  His defense? “The intruders—or ghosts—planted it.” 👻💨

• 📸 Online Romance Scam – With Nudes!
  A 54-year-old man sends $8K to an “Instagram model” with land, gold, and dreams in Africa.
  Plot twist: He’s married.
  Wife found out. Now he’s out of money and love.

Voicemail Highlights:

• Freak deals with a gold-digging ex-girlfriend who tried to stick him with all the bills.

• Another caller explains why cats are great (clean assholes!) and chats bestiality on Discord.
  🐱💬🐐