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Suck It, 2025 - Wet Molestation And Space Alien Sex Squirts

🚀 Coming Up on Today’s Show
A Space Force New Year’s message that promises lasers, moons, and maximum pew-pew dystopia
Pornography-as-a-good-luck-charm to kick off 2025 (obviously)
A tropical musical nightmare, murderous crustaceans, and Monday Night Movie: Claws for Alarm
Faith radio goes completely off the rails
Legal-sized bread is still happening (jingle included)
A religious hotline caller spirals into demonic chaos—with help
Kroger’s “all-American” pharmaceutical alternatives
Lesbian folk music, pretzel murders, and matinee madness
A rare Mom Henson appearance (some things are still sacred)
AI identity crises, the Lesbian Council weighs in, and ChatGPT ruins a woman’s life
Frankie McDonald vs. AI (plus outer space updates)
Streamer trash getting yelled at by mom
An airport meltdown over flying with multiple cats
Two gloriously awful Florida Man stories to close out the year
Voicemails, texts, AI prank calls, bowel-movement acoustics, and final 2025 reflections
🧠 Highlights & Bits
Space Dystopia Cold Open: Happy New Year from orbit—ask your recruiter how
Songs From Hell: Island boys, lesbian ballads, radio jingles, and AI-generated filth
AI Abuse Corner: Frankie McDonald gets framed for crimes, warns the world about fake videos, and explains the universe
Legal-Sized Bread Update: Marketing, execution, and the jingle singer behind rainbow bread returns
Faith & Delusion: Prayer lines, demons on the phone, and bleach temptation
Retail Rage: Airline policy meltdowns and holiday entitlement at cruising altitude
Florida Wrap-Up: A wet wake-up molestation and a bell-ringer who chose violence
📞 Freak Interaction
Listener texts, voicemail chaos, AI impersonations, and at least one call recorded mid-shit
End-of-year shoutouts, holiday wishes, and deeply upsetting fan art
🛒 Support the Show
Sideshow memberships are 33% OFF (monthly & yearly)
DV Store still open — use promo code AIDS for 20% off $50+
Sponsor an episode for $25
Patreon members get priority voicemail access
👉 Sign up and shop at distortedview.com and shop.distortedview.com
🎉 Final Notes
Tim looks back on a wild, bit-heavy year fueled by sketches, songs, and creative misuse of AI—then signs off with gratitude, delirium, and cautious optimism for more mental breakdowns in 2026.
Thanks for making 2025 survivable, freaks. Happy 2026.

Human Skin Side Hustles, Smoke Alarm Social Experiments & Smoking a Carolina Reaper

Tim Henson kicks off the final week of 2025 with a slightly shorter—but no less unhinged—episode of Distorted View Daily, battling a post-Christmas cold while delivering a full slate of bizarre news, TikTok idiocy, and listener chaos.
On Today’s Episode:
A former Harvard Medical School morgue manager is sentenced to federal prison after running a years-long side hustle selling human skin, faces, hands, and brains across state lines. Tim weighs the ethics, the witchcraft implications, and whether this was truly the “victimless crime” prosecutors insist it wasn’t.
A TikTok “social experiment” reveals how low-battery smoke alarm chirps become background noise—and sparks commentary on workplace distractions, viral experiments, and selective hearing.
A Starbucks drive-thru confrontation turns into peak internet nonsense when a man accuses baristas of fat-shaming his wife simply for asking if she wants food.
Yet another content creator attempts the ill-advised Carolina Reaper bong rip, proving once again that views are more important than lungs, common sense, or survival instincts.
A woman tracks her missing truck using a GPS device and discovers it allegedly being used by strangers, complete with appliances and gym equipment loaded into the bed—leading to a heated confrontation with a Youngstown auto repair shop.
Plus:
Tim shares a chaotic but oddly wholesome Christmas family recap, including adult diaper bonding moments, questionable gift exchanges, and a Bob Ross–themed Mr. Potato Head that raises some uncomfortable visual questions.
Listener voicemails bring the usual mix of scheming, oversharing, and medical updates no one asked for.
Final reminders about Sideshow memberships, Patreon support, and last-chance Distorted View merch deals before the store closes for the year.
If you enjoy dark comedy podcasts, outrageous viral clips, and news stories that feel like they shouldn’t exist—but somehow do—this episode delivers exactly what you expect from Distorted View Daily.
🎧 Listen now and spread the distortion.⭐ Don’t forget to rate, review, and share the show.💀 New Sideshow-exclusive content continues this week at distortedview.com.

Human Dildos, Trailer Park Sluts & the Internet Witch Hunt

Distorted View Daily – Best Of Show (Classic Episode from January 2018)Host: Tim Henson
It’s a Best Of Friday on Distorted View Daily, while Sideshow members get a brand-new exclusive episode. If you’re not already signed up, now’s the time—holiday deals are still live for a limited time. Plus, grab 20% off Distorted View merchandise with promo code AIDS on orders of $50 or more.
This classic episode dives headfirst into one of the most chaotic stretches in DV history, featuring viral outrage, witch hunts, trailer park warfare, deranged news stories, and listener-submitted bodily horrors.
On Today’s Best Of:
The Internet vs. Shane Dawson – Tim breaks down the social-media mob mentality after old podcast clips resurface, examining how jokes stripped of context turn into full-scale witch hunts. A cautionary (and hilarious) look at cancel culture before it became a daily sport.
Alex Jones Loses His Mind Over Oprah – A legendary Infowars meltdown featuring wild conspiracy theories, “human dildo” talk, and proof that “family broadcast” means absolutely nothing.
Camp Jabberwocky: A Test of Patience – Repeated chants, awkward audio, and one of the most unintentionally cruel camp names ever conceived.
Trailer Park Slut Warfare – Screaming teens, furious parents, stolen leggings, missing puppies, and accusations flying faster than common sense at Happy Meadows Trailer Village.
The Great Jeggings Heist – A domestic dispute spirals into pure chaos over allegedly stolen leggings and bedroom invasions.
The ‘Legal Fling’ Consent App – Sex now comes with paperwork, blockchain verification, and legally binding contracts. Romance is officially dead.
Alien Spaceship Church Shooting – A Michigan man fires at a dome-shaped church after deciding it’s an alien craft. Police confirm: not religious hate, just regular insanity.
South African Rapist Gets Bitten – A would-be rapist suffers catastrophic genital damage after his pregnant victim bites back. Hospitals are put on alert.
Listener Audio & Voicemails – Explosive bowel-movement recordings, off-key karaoke legends, old-school Sextastic Tuesday reactions, musical voicemails, and unhinged political hot takes.
As always, Tim wraps things up with listener calls, classic sound drops, and reminders to spread the distortion.
🎧 Support the Show
Join the Sideshow for daily exclusive episodes
Upgrade to a lifetime membership
Support via Patreon
Call the voicemail line: 206-666-4463
We’ll be back Monday with an all-new week of shows.Until then—spread the distortion and enjoy this DV classic.

Shit Lump Intervention

Distorted View Daily – Christmas Eve Best Of (Classic Episode from 2014)
Merry Christmas Eve, freaks! If you’re trapped in a car with relatives you hate, hiding from your family, or just need something loud, stupid, and offensive to get you through the holidays, this Best Of Distorted View Daily has you covered.
Tim dusts off a classic episode from December 2014, packed with legendary audio clips, enraging tech support calls, human stupidity, and some of the dumbest people ever captured on tape. Think of it as a re-gift… but one that smells faintly of feces and printer toner.
On This Episode:
Tech Support From Hell – A confused elderly woman calls tech support to complain about Google’s Pac-Man doodle, convinced it’s hijacking her computer and possibly charging her money.
Printer Rage Meltdown – A man loses his mind during a tech support call, smashes his printer (and possibly his monitor) with a hammer, and then demands warranty service while his family panics in the background.
Shit Lump Intervention – A drunk man is confronted by friends after passing out in his underwear with a very visible fecal mass in his pants… and things only get worse when he investigates.
The 80 MPH Question Returns – A simple math question destroys multiple brains as two men struggle mightily to determine how long it takes to travel 80 miles at 80 miles per hour.
2014 News Flashback – Commentary on the Sony hack, North Korea’s threats over The Interview, and America’s collective panic over a Seth Rogen movie.
Teacher Suspension – A first-year math teacher faces consequences after writing “stupid” on a student’s forehead with permanent marker.
Death by Tire Swing – A man dies after aggressively pushing an empty playground tire swing and failing to anticipate basic physics.
Classic Voicemails – Freaks from Australia, Ohio, and beyond check in with holiday greetings, McRib opinions, singing, and unhinged devotion.
Also Mentioned:
Holiday deals still active at shop.distortedview.com (use promo code AIDS for 20% off orders of $50+)
Lifetime Sideshow memberships available as the ultimate last-minute gift for the freak in your life
A music swap at the top of the episode thanks to copyright issues (thanks a lot, Spotify)
Whether you’re driving across the state, hiding in a bathroom, or questioning all your life choices, this classic Distorted View Daily Best Of is the perfect Christmas Eve companion.
🎄 Merry Christmas, freaks. Spread the distortion. 🎄

Pokémon Go Gym Meltdown + Target Parking Lot Perv – Distorted View Daily

On Today's Show:
 
Distorted View Daily – Monday, December 22, 2025Day 11 & 12 of the 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily
Christmas week kicks off with a stacked episode as Tim Henson wraps up the 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily and dives headfirst into deranged news, internet lunacy, listener chaos, and the triumphant return of a Linda Finkel Hall of Fame legend.
🎄 Holiday Deals & Sideshow Specials
20% off orders of $50 or more at shop.distortedview.com using promo code AIDS (valid through Christmas)
Sideshow Membership Deal: $6/month or $60/year—Black Friday pricing returns
New year-by-year podcast archive feeds now live (2005 & 2006 available, more coming)
🔥 On Today’s Episode
A grotesque and unholy Christmas poem involving Santa, Mrs. Claus, Krampus, elves, and felony-level trauma
Tim vents about the ongoing kitchen renovation nightmare, including:
No sink for weeks
A boxed, unopened OLED TV aging in the hallway
The never-ending saga of returning and rebuying iPads
Listener chaos erupts as freaks bid for or against a Unicorn Hamster sponsorship
Political psycho Valentina Gomez resurfaces with vile immigration rhetoric and campaign insanity
A 15-minute apartment hallway screaming match between neighbors that resolves absolutely nothing
Two grown adults nearly come to blows over a Pokémon Go gym in public
Linda Finkel Hall of Fame royalty returns: Lisa Gale drops TWO new songs, including:
Training a New Man
Red Light
A brand-new Tainted Brass parody cover closes out the show
🚔 Distorted News
Florida: Woman assaults Planet Fitness employee after being told to lower her voice
Arizona: Senior county attorney arrested for public sexual indecency involving a juvenile in a Target parking lot
📞 Voicemails & Freak Feedback
Zootopia 2 spoilers
Frankie MacDonald AI conspiracy theories
Praise for classic DV musical insanity
Holiday despair, listener predictions, and general madness
Distorted View Daily is here for you during the holidays—whether you’re stuck with family, avoiding responsibility, or questioning reality itself.
🎧 Listen now. Support the show. Spread the distortion.⭐ Rate & review wherever you get podcasts

I’ll Kill Your Children for Christmas + Razor Blade Bread & Diaper Dogs – Distorted View Daily

On Today's Show:
00:00:00
PROMO CODE: BUZZ - $5.00 Off DV Pint Glasses
00:53:22
Introduction
05:46:13
Sorry David! I Mean Dan...Or Was It David?
08:50:14
DV Listener Sponsor: Merry Christmas WhoreSlammer40K
10:25:21
Merry Christmas, I'm Going To Kill Your Children
15:32:06
Baby Andy Fights With His Parents / Hits Himself
20:31:00
Lady With Dong Has Multiple Orgasms - I Call Bullshit!
23:03:22
Taking Your Incontinent Fake Service Dog To The Gym
29:30:18
Shoplifter Gets Locked In Store
31:44:02
Support Distorted View Daily
32:57:07
Enthused About The News - Featuring Tainted Broth
34:03:08
Rock Band Lead Singer Gets Electrocuted By Mic
37:57:21
Razor Blade Banana Nut Bread
44:50:18
Test Messages / Voicemails
53:20:21
Gentlemen Robot Rapists From The Planet Non-Consenua / Ending

Satan’s Steamy Phone Sex Chat + Frankie McDonald, AI, and the Epstein Question – Distorted View Daily Comedy Podcast

Distorted View Daily – Wednesday, December 17, 2025 (Sideshow tease + Distorted News)Promo: Get $5 off the “Satan Away” t-shirt in the DV store — use promo code SATANAWAY (today only).Keywords: Distorted View Daily, Tim Henson, DV Sideshow, Satan Away shirt, Frankie McDonald AI, Zootopia 2 snake trend, Indonesian pit viper, Florida PPP fraud, VRChat Proximity Chat, gooner bait Christmas song.
Tim opens with “Destiny” (Satan) back on the horn, turning the 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily into a steamy faux phone-chat ad and pushing the Satan Away merch deal—because apparently your “little dicklets” can’t resist flirting with the devil.
Listener sponsorship chaos follows: Parmesan Sheath dedicates the episode to boyfriend Lil Showstopper (birthday shoutout… slightly late), which Tim uses as an excuse to sabotage the romance with “Dating on Demand: Destiny” — a charming partner who “never forgets birthdays”… and claims she can fit a human head up her… uh… relationship skills.
Then: a nostalgic detour into the internet’s biggest missing-person mystery (for DV freaks): Lil Showstopper, the ancient MySpace-era tough-talk clip that still lives rent-free in Tim’s brain.
Featured Segments
Frankie McDonald: Human or “Frank A.I.”?Frankie denies he’s AI, Tim “investigates,” and the bit spirals into fake virus warnings, cursed forecasts, and the most DV-appropriate weather update imaginable.
Satanic “gooner bait” rabbit holeTim discovers a performer mixing explicit self-love, devil worship, and Christmas-adjacent depravity—then tries to “fix” the season by remixing it into a holiday song for gooners (because of course).
VRChat degeneracy: Proximity Chat returnsA highlight reel of VR weirdos: “phantom pain” believers, age regression roleplay, a “mom” with 39 “children,” and chaos involving toy guns, fake PTSD, and Proximity getting booted/banned again. Tim links the full video in show notes.
Distorted News
China’s Zootopia 2 problem: A breakout blue snake character sparks a trend: fans trying to buy real-life blue snakes, including the Indonesian pit viper / island bamboo pit viper—prompting warnings, price spikes, and some platforms pulling listings.
Florida Criminal Mastermind Award: A woman already charged in a massive COVID relief fraud case allegedly drives a stolen U-Haul cargo van to her own federal court date, triggering a traffic stop, new charges, and bond trouble. (Florida remains undefeated.)
Freak Messages & Voicemails
A real-world vanity plate sighting: “KREEM P1E” (chapter art mention).
DV merch love: Tainted Broth gets worn proudly in public (and yes, it shows up on Spotify searches).
Kitchen remodel talk: a caller begs Tim to do the floor/subfloor now or suffer later.
Voicemail debate: relationships, “jerking off honesty,” and Tim’s classic blend of sympathy + scorched-earth commentary.
Plug Roll (because Tim has a kitchen to fund):Sideshow memberships are on holiday sale (22–33% off), listener sponsorships via PayPal, Patreon perks, DV store merch, and the usual “spread the distortion” PSA.
Outro: Apple Podcasts review shoutout + the usual DV filth, plugs, and chaos—plus a reminder that tomorrow’s episode is Sideshow exclusive.

Acid Enema Warning + Ohio’s Most Rejected Vanity Plates – Distorted View Daily Comedy Podcast

Distorted View Daily — Monday, December 15, 2025 (Show Notes)
Kick off the week with 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily and a fresh batch of filth, freaks: $3 off ALL Distorted View mugs (including new designs like Rimjob Raccoon) using promo code LATTE (L-A-T-T-E) at shop.distortedview.com.
Today’s Highlights (aka: why your therapist hates this podcast)
Holiday merch deal: $3 off any DV mug for 24 hours with LATTE at shop.distortedview.com
Sponsor shout-out: “Urethral Fistula” gifts the show to his brother Dan… and Tim delivers a scorched-earth “welcome back” message plus a bonus Heavy Bertation Monday
Heavy Bertation segment: a classic news-anchor brain-glitch that spirals into total word-salad madness (and somehow becomes a love letter to neurological failure)
Pause Load Monday returns: a quick-and-nasty “toxic seed” audio clip that immediately goes too far (but you knew that already)
Mead Skelton meltdown: Mead posts a sad YouTube confession about having no friends, then explains he mainly wants a friend for wingman services and “structure”
Mead’s cursed dating history: includes an epileptic racist date, a chimp-attack injury story, and the revelation that 8-year-old Mead thought a “tent kiss” got a girl pregnant
Jesse Lee Peterson vs. Erica Kirk: Jesse reacts to widow Erica Kirk grieving on camera and… predictably says the quiet part loudly (and stupidly)
Police bodycam traffic stop chaos: a simple tint/plate issue turns into cuffs, screaming relatives, and expensive consequences—because cooperation is apparently illegal in this family
Distorted News: the Ohio BMV rejected vanity plates list is packed with poop, drugs, sex, and threats—plus the U.S. Supreme Court’s latest reminder that states can keep rejecting plate messages
Distorted News: What got rejected (Ohio vanity plates)
A sampling of the denied personalized plates includes:
Bathroom panic: POOPSACK, I HAVE TO PEE, HV2POOP, GTA2POOP
Drugs: HEROIN, ONMETH, LOVEMETH, NOMETH
Sex/NSFW: 69LMAO, MILF, STROKEN
Violence/threats: ILLCUTU, SLOWHO
Politics-coded entries also show up in the mix (because of course they do)
Community Stuff & Freak Interactions
New 4HAIRYCNT text line gets plugged (because Tim’s brand is professionalism)
Texts roast Tim for blowing money on Nintendo while “cheap-ing out” on the kitchen remodel with Lord Douche
Listener photo “kind of nude” gets added to Tim’s “spank bank” (a sentence that should get you flagged from polite society)
Voicemails: long-time Sideshow member jokes about “canceling” to rejoin via the updated site, plus a recommendation to look up Ratgrave for VR trolling/proximity-chat style chaos
Quick PSA: Acid enemas are a terrible idea
Tim digs into the horrific medical reality behind corrosive enemas, including documented cases of severe colon damage, emergency surgery, strictures, and risks like perforation/sepsis—then, naturally, immediately turns it into an invitation for future “anything in the anus” breaking news coverage.
Deal reminder: $3 off ALL DV mugs today only with LATTE at shop.distortedview.comPodcast keywords for search: Distorted View Daily, Tim Henson, comedy podcast, Sideshow, Ohio BMV rejected vanity plates, acid enema dangers, Mead Skelton, Heavy Bertation, police bodycam traffic stop, Jesse Lee Peterson, Charlie Kirk widow Erica Kirk